As result of scheduling challenges and ongoing career-related projects, Ask Darlene has been suspended until further notice.
There are a multitude of answers already provided on this site that are child abuse related. Please check out the links at the bottom of this page for some of those answers. Or check out the various archived pages immediately below.
I thank you for your understanding and I hope you will find the information provided on this website helpful. And I do hope you'll visit often.
Ask Darlene pages have now been archived. These archived pages are separated into one of five categories:
Some questions do cross more than one category, but there are no provisions to allow a question and the reply to appear on more than one page. The submissions have been moved to the category that best suits the question asked.
In order to avoid duplication on the various forms of this question, the following pages on this site provide both the questions and my answers:
I am not an attorney.
I have not offered legal opinions or given advice on specific child abuse cases, nor do I. Please contact a lawyer if you have legal questions.
I am not a psychiatrist.
I have not provided psychiatric evaluations or diagnoses, nor do I. Please contact a qualified medical professional if you have mental health questions.
Assignment or essay answers for students.
You'll benefit greatly by doing you own homework. If you need my credentials for the bibliography of a research paper, you'll find them at credentials.
I cannot help you find lost, missing or stolen children.
Please contact your provincial, state or federal authorities for your options.
I do not comment on Ask Darlene questions, or any questions privately or directly through your email.
All approved submissions (questions) and my corresponding answers have been posted on this site for the benefit of all my visitors.
Yes, I am the person who has answered the questions that have been submitted through this page.
I do not have a staff; I have been the one to answer the questions that have been posed. Indeed, ALL that I do on this site is on my own free time. So please be understanding and respectful of that time.
If you sent me a question through Ask Darlene (while it was still a feature on the site) and did not receive an answer:
Your question either fell into the above categories (in which case, I did not
answer it) or I have answered the question before. Check out the links
toward the bottom of this page, as well as Ask Darlene Archive Pages
above. The answer you are looking for may be there.
If you've commented on any of the submissions on this site, you can opt to be automatically notified when someone else comments on that thread. Understand, however, that comments do not go live on the site until I've approved them first. I delete all inappropriate comments. If you've opted to be notified, if and when someone leaves another comment you will receive an automated message through the email you provided. In order to receive that email, you must provide your email address immediately after you've submitted your comment (no email; no notification). Don't worry, your email address will NOT be posted, and it is blind to me and visitors.
The automated message will provide the link (URL) of where to find the post that houses your comment. Keep in mind two things: One, since I do not permit comments to go live until after I've read them and approved them, time differences around the globe mean that you may be notified before I have the chance to approve the comment. And two, if the comment is inappropriate and has been deleted, you will still have received notification. Therefore, if you try to find a comment you've been notified about and it doesn't appear after a considerable amount of time, it likely means I deleted it due to inappropriateness.
I cannot notify you privately. Nor do I have the ability to
re-set the automated notifications for you, as Canadian law prohibits
this. How do I change my email address for notifications
will take you to the step-by-step instructions on a work-around if you
want to change the email address you have provided for automated
Check out questions from my visitors on this page...
Should a bachelor marry a sexual abuse victim who has a child from that abuse?
Need Advice: Is it a wise decision for a bachelor to marry a child sexual abuse survivor who has a child from that abuse????? Reply …
Should a person report abuse from two years ago?
If someone was abused two years ago should they report? Reply from Darlene: Kelsey, while most would believe my reply should be a resounding …
My ex is abusing our 4-year-old: How do I help my son?
This is a case where a mother has seen her ex-husband strike their then 18-month-old son in the head repeatedly with a screwdriver. Abuse reports have …
Do you think things are slowly getting better for male victims?
I recently wrote my own story on here, and in some ways I think I made the ending seem more rosy than it really is-but I also think part of it is me realising …
Lingering Effects of Child Abuse: How Do I Get Out of Abusive Relationships?
My mother is now 88 years old - my sister is 60, I am 56. My sister is still holding a grudge over things that I did when I was a teen. She states that …
Australia's Statute of Limitations for Child Abuse?
I was just wondering what the Statute of Limitations on child abuse is? I was abused in 1999, and she got away with it as I was too young to be put on …
How can I get the nightmares to stop?
I am now 28 years old. I don't know whether what my mother did to me when I was smaller is considered abuse or if it was just a harsher way of disciplining …
Surviving Child Abuse: How do I channel it all?
Darlene, as you'd be aware, I recently submitted my story on the "child abuse stories" section of the site (see Part 1 , Part 2 and Part 3 of Andrew's …
Friend has son massage her feet: Is this a form of child abuse?
This is an issue that bothers me. Can't find the answer on the Internet. My friend has her 10-year-old son rub her feet when they are sore. She has done …
Is wedging of children by adult males considered sexual abuse?
Is wedging of young children sexual abuse by adult men? The children are all minor children. I have addressed the issue on two separate occasions with …
Are these long-term effects of sexual abuse for male survivors?
I have very fractured memories of child sexual abuse and torture from when I was four, lasting about a year. Now I'm middle-aged and I see that my siblings …
Starved for men's attention: Could this be an issue of past child abuse?
My oldest sister has been very flirtatious her entire life. Once when we were in high school, she was standing in her bra (1970) in the dining room ironing …
Disclosures of Abuse: How do I know for sure if my niece is being or was abused?
For the longest time, my niece, at the age of 11 and younger, complained about the way her mother treated her, that she was abusive, left them alone at …
Should I continue to work or stay home with my baby?
I am a mother of an 18-month-old boy, and I am myself 22. I leave my son behind to go to a 9 to 4 job. My son is a very happy baby. He never complains …
Stepfather showering with toddler: Is she being sexually abused?
I have a 2 1/2-year-old stepdaughter who told me the other day that her and her stepdad take showers together. Is there something wrong with this? My husband …
Unable to make love with my husband: Could I have been sexually abused as a child?
Needing Advice: I came across this site hoping to find some answers. This may sound crazy but I do not remember being sexually abused. But …
I was sexually abused: Can I marry?
Hello Darlene. I want to ask a very valid question. I have been affected by this thing from 6 years to 12 years of my age massively. Now I am 22 and my …
I want to report child abuse but I don't know their address: What do I do?
I have a family member who is abusing her 3 children. She gets a large amount of food stamps each month, only to cash them to people for cash and buy her …
Older stepbrother makes my young niece rub his feet: Cause for concern?
My mother told me earlier today that my niece had told her something odd. My niece is 7 years old. She told her that her step brother of one year who …
Didn't receive treatment for allergic reaction: Was I neglected?
I am an adult male that was raised in an alcoholic home. When I was 4 or 5, I had an allergic reaction to penicillin. It caused significant swelling in …
From my son's mouth: How do we handle the disclosure?
Today my son, 4, was riding in the back seat of the car with me, mouthing the words to a Bon Jovi song and stopped all of a sudden. He looked at me with …
Is "cutting" an effect of child abuse?
Can cutting be an effect of child sexual and physical abuse? Reply from Darlene: Yes, cutting and other forms of self-harm are effects of child …
Is it sexual abuse when parents have sex in front of a child?
I was wondering if parents having sexual intercourse with a child present in the room (while the child is asleep or not) would constitute sexual abuse?? …
How do I help my friend who disclosed sexual abuse?
HOW DO I HELP HER? One of my best friends, she's been physically and emotionally abused by various people, and also raped twice. She tells me about all …
How can I get justice?
Pain: When I was 3 my dad died. My mom started going with a man named Joe W. He abused me from the age of 3-10 very badly. When I said something, …
Concerned my toddler is being sexually abused...
I have never trusted my dad. I've seen him be uncomfortable when I caught him alone with the dog and later he read the bible, when I was pregnant. My …
Can I disclose what my friend's dad did to me anonymously?
I have recently posted a story on this website ( Child Abuse Story From Maddison ) and have a few questions. I want to report my friend's dad, but I …
How do I stop my younger sister getting hurt?
I have read your other stories on this subject, but they all say to report it. I was wondering if anyone can think of different ideas. I live with one …
Suspect my toddler is being sexually abused: Don't know what to do?
I have a nagging suspicion that my two-and-a-half-year-old may have been, or may be, being sexually abused by her father. We are not together, but he does …
My toddler was sexually abused at daycare: How do I function again?
Mom Gone Crazy!!! I have just found out my 3-year-old was sexually abused at daycare. It has made me absolutely crazy!! I can't eat, sleep, …
How do I help my girlfriend who I think was sexually abused as a child?
I'm a lesbian, and I think my girlfriend of 2 years was sexually abused by her adoptive father. She doesn't trust, and she is very jealous. Could these …
My sister is living with my abusive dad: Should I report to police?
My little sister is living with my dad. He is mentally abusive and he moved her to Florida. I am in California, and he has a gun. I don't know what to …
Why aren't Mandatory Reporters listened to?
My two sons have been repeatedly abused physically and emotionally by their non-custodial father who has every- other-weekend and two-weeks-out-of-the-summer …
What to do When
Darlene, My husband and I (not residents of Canada), have reported to a Children's Aid Society, an ongoing case of physical and emotional abuse and neglect …
My younger sister, brother and I were all abused in varying degrees by our parents and extended family. The abuse includes sexual abuse, emotional abuse, …
Legal and Statistical
Daycare abused my daughter: We were informed by a teacher at my daughter's daycare that my daughter was abused. Before we could really act …
Signs Types and Effects
I wish people knew that a sign that a child is being sexually abused is: They are scared to death of a whipping from someone in particular. It seems …
Site and Webmaster
Darlene, I have had to open a new e-mail, so could you please send all the stories of other people to this e-mail, as I enjoy your site and don't want …
Where can I find more information about sign and effects of abuse?
I want more information about the signs and/or effects of abuse? Chat back soon. Ana Reply from Darlene: My navigation bar on the left has …
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life