How can I get justice?

by Cecelia
(Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada)

When I was 3 my dad died. My mom started going with a man named Joe W. He abused me from the age of 3-10 very badly. When I said something, the court system put him in a mental hospital. My mom and I had to leave our own home because he was on the lease.

When he got released from the mental hospital, the police took him back to our house. That's when we were there. They asked me to go upstairs until he was gone. He went there to get his things. After that, my mom told me the courts let him go back to Newfoundland because he was dying. That left me without Justice.

My life is a mess. I almost died from a diet I did. Now I have Chronic Pancreatitis and I have to go back to physio because I still can't walk that good, or breathe because of the pneumonia I developed when I did the Akins Diet. Do you have any advice for me so I can get some Justice? Please write me back.


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Comments for How can I get justice?

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Jul 01, 2008
A shift in thinking is the way out of your prison...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Cecilia, I'll tell you right up front: I don't have the answer you are seeking. Justice in the way you are looking for it does not exist; you must accept that. And even if it did exist, it would not change anything that this abuser did to you. You would still be left with the memories and the betrayal and the emotional and physical residue of 7 years worth of horrendous abuse, and then with the resulting lifetime of one ailment after another. If you continue to seek out this "Justice," if you continue to live your life as a victim rather than as a survivor triumphant—and a survivor triumphant you ARE!—your entire life will be consumed by something that you cannot ever change. You would have lived your life to what amounts to living it in the past, a past that you can do nothing about.

While you cannot change what happen in your past, you CAN make the decision to not allow what happened in that past continue to take hold of the present.

Do not allow what this abuser did to you re-victimize you over and over again. He's not worth the energy. He's not worth the lost years. He's not worth the illnesses. He's not worth any more of your precious time on this planet. Take back your life, Cecilia. Consider some form of counselling in order to help you through all that you are now facing. You don't deserve to live your life in this prison. It wasn't you who committed a crime!

Justice comes in many forms, Cecilia. Consider a shift in what you consider Justice. Justice is taking back your power. Justice is taking back control of your life. Someone once said, "The best revenge is living your life to the fullest." Live YOUR life to the fullest. Start by getting some help for yourself.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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