Unable to make love with my husband: Could I have been sexually abused as a child?

by Kilee
(USA)

Needing Advice: 
I came across this site hoping to find some answers.

This may sound crazy but I do not remember being sexually abused. But I do have all the symptoms of someone who was. There are huge blanks in my past though, so is it possible I do not remember it? If it did happen, how could I remember it or do I even want to? I cannot make love to my husband! It is causing problems because neither one of us understand. All I can tell him is "it's not you" But even though I tell him that, he believes it is. Pretending it's all okay in the bed is not working anymore. I JUST CAN'T DO IT! But it is NOT my husband. I Very much love him. Hope you can help.

Thanks,
~needing a solution

Note from Darlene: My answer to this Ask Darlene question "Unable to make love with my husband: Could I have been sexually abused as a child?" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for Unable to make love with my husband: Could I have been sexually abused as a child?

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 12, 2008
Childhood sexual abuse a possibility...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Kilee, it is possible that you have been sexually abused as a child and have no memory of it, but there is no way for me to know for sure.

I have replied in-depth to others who have asked this question in various forms. I refer you to the following URLs on this site; each URL houses the question, some details, and my response:Even if you weren't sexually abused as a child, there is an underlying cause for your inability to have an intimate relationship with your husband. As I suggested to each of the above contributors, I urge you to seek out some form of counselling in order to help you understand one: why you are experiencing this inability; and two, how you can overcome the underlying cause so that you and your husband can experience and enjoy intimacy in your relationship.

I wish you and your husband all the best, Kilee.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Ask Darlene

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



Most Recent

  1. Mother Chose Abuser

    Mar 29, 17 08:33 AM

    In 1977 living in Florida, my abuser was my mother's second husband. She married him after only knowing him for two weeks. I was ten years old and was

    Read More

  2. Thank you...

    Mar 28, 17 12:43 PM

    To ALL who took the time to fill in my quiz about what they would want addressed in a confrontation with an abuser, I very much appreciate the input.

    Read More

  3. Son Needs Help

    Mar 28, 17 08:54 AM

    I previously submitted my own story but this concerns my son. Although in his 30's now, my son suffered mental and physical abuse at the hands of his father

    Read More

Take the quiz

Fill out my online form.
HTML Forms powered by Wufoo.
E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...