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How do I help my girlfriend who I think was sexually abused as a child?

by Beth
(Indiana, USA)

I'm a lesbian, and I think my girlfriend of 2 years was sexually abused by her adoptive father. She doesn't trust, and she is very jealous. Could these be signs of sexual abuse as a child? If we talk about her father it doesn't go very far, she just says he is weird.

Last night in chat she said something about taking secrets to your grave. She is going to counceling for her jealousy, but I don't think that's the root of her problem. Personally, I think her father abused her sexually and she never told anyone. I try all the time to build her self esteem and tell her that I love her unconditionally.

Well, now we are apart. She left me and cheated with someone else. They are having problems, and she has since contacted me. Can you please just give me some insight. I think she was possibly abused, and was wondering if jealousy and untrust worthiness are some of the signs. Thank you for your assistance.

Note from Darlene: My answer to this Ask Darlene question "How do I help my girlfriend who I think was sexually abused as a child?" can be found at Comments below this submission.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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