How can I get the nightmares to stop?

by Anon
(London, England)

I am now 28 years old. I don't know whether what my mother did to me when I was smaller is considered abuse or if it was just a harsher way of disciplining me.


From the age of 3 until I was 14 my mum would beat me whenever I was bad. Sometimes it was with her hand and sometimes with her slipper. She would also yell at me while doing it.

Now I get flashbacks in my sleep; which have me in them and my mom beating me. Sometimes the person isn't me. It's someone else, almost like a fictional person. And every time I wake up after seeing these flashbacks, I get a bit scared. It takes forever for me to fall back to sleep again. How can I get these flashbacks to stop?

Reply from Darlene: My answer to this Ask Darlene question "How can I get the nightmares to stop?" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Comments for How can I get the nightmares to stop?

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Aug 05, 2008
I refer you to a comment I made on this site regarding nightmares...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It can be very difficult to deal with nightmares all by yourself. Getting to the route cause of the nightmares is usually required in order to get them to stop or even to lessen; but there are no guarantees. I recommend counselling, as counselling may help you understand why you are having them in the first place.

Some time ago, when I was twenty-four years old, I found that the way I interpreted the troublesome dreams I was having night after night had the greatest impact on whether or not I continued to have them. I wrote a comment to another contributor on this site titled I can relate.... If you haven't already read them, you might find those comments, as well as the submission by Deborah Randall above those comments, helpful. Sometimes knowing that others have experienced, or are experiencing, something similar can be beneficial. At the very least, you won't feel so all alone.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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