A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL

by Elaine Ellis
(Lancashire, UK)

To Darlene, to Mrs. R., to Linda, and to anyone else who takes the time to read these pages...

THANK YOU.

It's great to realise that people take the time to read and pay attention to what others say. Darlene's website is a true gift, reaching out to people in distress, and giving a voice to those with something to say about its cause.

SOCIETY needs to pay attention to the danger of child abuse, and associated problems. We consider ourselves to be enlightened, educated, progressive. Far from our primitive ancestors. Far from the "dark ages". Far from our prudish, Victorian past. Far from the times of serfdom, of witch trials, Workhouse and Asylum.

But how much REALLY has changed? Ostensibly, we're a fast-living, technological "whizz" of a generation. Yet behind all the glamour (I use this word in the sense, to mean "trickery" or "deception" - to "glamour" someone is to "cast a spell"), we hold on to many outdated and ignorant notions. We consider ourselves forward-thinking, but have our feet firmly planted in the past when it comes to so many aspects of our daily lives. We have had to invent LAWS to try to stop people picking on disabled individuals, to try to end racism, sexism, ageism. Yet many people continue to view ethnic minorities as a problem, they still see Gypsies and Travellers as dirty and lazy, still see disabled people as useless and unable to work. All utterly untrue; but insults like "Gippo" and "four eyes" and "Paki" are still common in everyday usage. What does that say about our society? We have all this technology, but we still find it embarrassing to talk about certain "taboo" subjects. How many kids giggle nervously in school at the thought of Sex Education class? How many people change the subject when someone mentions the problem of debt, or the recession? Who can talk openly, honestly and comfortably about domestic violence, or AIDS, or teenage pregnancy, homelessness and drug or alcohol misuse? How many people don't feel happy about the issue of mixed-race marriages, or adoption? How many people would still feel uncomfortable if they found out that their neighbour, or best friend, or a relative, even, was a lesbian, or homosexual, or got divorced, lost their job, or had an unplanned pregnancy?

People NEED to be able to express themselves, and to have the chance to feel that they can BE THEMSELVES ("warts and all" as Cromwell is alleged to have said!). To be able to do this comfortably, we have to be able to talk about all the things that make us who we are, whatever those things may be. Otherwise, we can never begin to overcome fear and prejudice.

So - a big thanks to everyone who supports this site, and supports me in what I want, and NEED to say. To Darlene, to Mrs. R, Linda and to anyone else reading this website, I say...

take a good, long look in the mirror. The person you see looking back at you is... frankly, YOU. Whoever you WANT to be. YOU are unique and individual; there will NEVER be another YOU. Remember, we can never truly know another person. Never truly know what lies beneath the exterior - what they see, feel, or experience. Unless we are prepared to share. ANYONE and EVERYONE can have problems, bad times. WE can ALL feel at times that we are wrong, that we are to blame, that we have failed, erred and "made a mess".

Remember that. When we look at others, they are looking at us the same way (mostly!). They can never truly know US. So, we can CHOOSE what we want others to see. No matter what anger, or hurt, or shame we have inside us; it does not have to be the only part of us that we show to the world. It does not have to consume us. It does not have to be the only thing that the world knows us for. When life throws something rotten at us, we may well find it difficult to deal with. It IS difficult. That's why it's so rotten! But, if we come through it, then that surely says something about us. It says we're TOUGH, STRONG, RESILIENT, CREATIVE, RESOURCEFUL, PATIENT, COURAGEOUS... need I go on? Why should I "big you up" when you can do it for yourselves?

GET OUT THERE, LIVE LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELVES. AFTER ALL, YOU CAN CHANGE. WE ALL CHANGE. YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE WHAT MAKE YOU UNIQUE. AND UNIQUE IS PRICELESS.