You've Just Entered Elaine's Room Welcome! Using My Negative Experiences Positively, to Help Others Blackpool, Lancashire United Kingdom Discover Rooms in Safe House FAQs A Room of Your Own Occupation: Social Worker Gender: Female Tell us about yourself: I'm a 37-year-old idealist and dreamer. I live with my long-term partner of 14 years, and 6 rescued cats. I see myself as a sensitive soul, with a strong sense of justice, of duty and of loyalty. I have a deep need to understand, to empathise and to nurture; but seek to avoid the "Earth Mother" stereotype. I believe strongly in individuality, and in thinking "outside the box". I'm somewhat "otherworldly", and crave intellectual stimulation. For this reason, I'm fascinated by all things antique and archaeological; by nature; by foreign travel and ancient cultures; by art, poetry and literature. I read to relax (from Asimov to Anne Rice, and classics like the Brontes to pulp fiction like "Trainspotting"). I love films, I sketch, and go hiking. I love pony trekking and canoeing, but am by nature lazy. I adore debate, and can talk on anything from Psychology to Paganism... Guess I'm fairly eclectic, really! Tell us about your child abuse cause: I grew up in a strict family of Catholic derivation. My parents were of poor backgrounds, from huge families, and had been themselves abused. My mother suffers from the long-term effects of BiPolar Disorder (Manic Depression), and was often unstable and unwell. After I was born she had Postnatal Depression, so I was briefly fostered with an aunt. My father is an emotionally distant and spasmodically violently aggressive man. As a child, I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents. I was told frequently how stupid, ugly and disappointing I was. Punishment was often, and severe, even for the slightest misdemeanor. My mother did not "bond" easily with me, and blamed me for the loss of her job, and for her illness. I was also told that, being a girl, I was "a letdown". My younger brother was frequently favouritised. My parents set high standards for me, which, try as I might, I could never achieve; they frequently "moved the goalposts". I was hit, slapped and kicked, mostly by my father, for whatever my parents perceived to be my "failings" or imagined to be "bad behaviour". I was often neglected. I ran away from home several times as a teenager, and was raped at 15. I had inappropriate relationships with many older men, who also hit me. I have suffered depression and eating disorders, but have slowly rebuilt my life, finally qualifying as a Social Worker. I wish to use my negative experiences positively, to help others. Other information you'd like us to know about: As a qualified Social Worker, I write both upon my professional and personal experiences. I've seen "both sides of the coin", as it were, as a survivor of abuse, and as an employee of Social Services working with disadvantaged individuals. I have many thoughts upon the nature of abuse, and what can be done to combat it, and appreciate the opportunity that this site offers, to gain others' insights into this much misunderstood matter. Elaine: Go Ahead, Establish Your Room! Create your pages using the form below. Be friendly, be yourself but mostly, be respectful. PLEASE NOTE: This form is for use exclusively in Elaine's room. Enter Your Title Write Your Article [ ? ] Close Help Creating your page is easy to do. Just type!... Your article will appear on a Web page the way you enter it here. You can wrap a word in square brackets to make it appear bold. For example [my story] would show as my story on the Web page containing your story. TIP: Since most people scan Web pages, include your best thoughts in your first paragraph. Upload A Picture (optional) [ ? ] Close Help Do you have a picture, image or video to add? Great! Click the Browse button and find it on your computer. Then select it. Don't forget to leave a caption. Add Picture Caption (optional)  Author Information (optional) To receive credit as the author, enter your information below. Your Name (first or full name) Your Location (ex. City, State, Country) Submit Your Contribution Check box to agree to these submission guidelines. (You can preview and edit on the next page) Pages in Elaine's Room: Click on the links below to view a page in this room . . . Emotional Abuse: a Child's Perspective. Some Family Do's and Dont's.  O.K. So I'm writing this as an adult... but, let's get it straight... I've been there as a child... I grew up in a family where bitchiness and competitivity ... Mental Health Issues and the Links to Abuse  I've got a big "bee in my bonnet" about this issue, both personally and professionally. You see, I really think that much more ought to be done about mental ... Our Animal "Buddies".  Busy week at work, this week! We're making dramatic changes within Social Services, re-evaluating the way that we deliver care, and finance it. We're also ... About Me, My Family and My Life - The Background  Well, here goes! I've been holding back from writing this for some time, despite REALLY WANTING and NEEDING to do it... Writing is a very cathartic experience.... Parental Expectations, Stereotyping and Abuse  Having a child is meant to be a momentous experience. The desire, and need, to reproduce is enshrined as a societal "norm", a "given"... that is what couples ... A Poem for the Reader  "What Makes Me Special?" I set out on a quest, as did once Knights of old... Yet the prize was not splendour, or power, or gold.... "Pandora's Box"  Darlene, just to say thanks to you, and any others, who have commented upon my previous articles. Food for thought... It's good to have a site like ... Workers have "hands tied"...  Darlene, I've just had to send you this letter after watching on TV the coverage of the harrowing Jessica Randall UK child abuse case. Baby Jessica ... Does abuse "disable" us?  As a sufferer of childhood abuse, I've already shared some of my (albeit less painful!) experiences with you...But this led me to do some thinking... I'... Abuse Breeds Abuse  I've written before to tell some of my story, and I have a lot of questions that I'd love to make sense of. My abuse happened when I lived at my parental ... Healing Advice From a UK Social Worker  First of all, thank-you to the kind individuals who offered their comments and support after my previous child abuse story. I have requested counselling ... Child Abuse Story From Elaine   I'm now 36, but my childhood still seems "current". My mother had mental health problems (Bipolar Disorder), and I now know I was fostered with relatives ... About Me, My Family and My Life - Revelations and Learning  Not rated yet Strange, but it's somehow a huge relief to have got here! Well, you may be asking, what on Earth made me so keen to speak out? What made it so important ... About Me, My Family and My Life - Teenage Years; the Memories I try to hide  Not rated yet Strange, this... my teenage years were only a short period of my life, but I remember them as one of the longest! They seemed interminable, dragging on ... About Me, My Family and My Life - Teenage Years: A Life in the Doghouse!  Not rated yet It was never really my intention to write so much of this in so few "sittings", but now that the start has been made, it's as if everything else just naturally ... About Me, My Family and My Life - Early Years: A Life in the Making  Not rated yet I hope that this makes sense, and that it's easy for you (whoever you are, reading this), to understand that this follows on from my first article of a ... Childhood Abuse and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder  Not rated yet Hi! I've been away from this website for a while, 'cos in the U.K., as soon as we get the first signs of fair weather, we get out and start the gardening ... OpenSpace Main PageSafe House FAQsSafe House HelpChild Abuse Effects Homepage from Elaine's Room

Elaine's Room page updated with new post May 23, 2008