Child Abuse Story From Depressed Girl

[?] Subscribe To This Site

Child Abuse Story From Depressed Girl

by Depressed Girl
(Location Undisclosed)

i am 14 years old, i have been abused since a child. I told my highschool teacher last year, and the police got involved. They stopped the full thing, he sexually abused me since i was a newborn, he got jailed for 6 years, that is not even HALF of what he has took from me. Even now the abuse has stoppeed, the memories live on, i cant consentrate, i dont like school, i dont like home, i dont like going anywhere. I think i dislike school because its the first place i admitted too, and i cant stand being there, i feel physically sick when i have to go. Theres nothing i can do about my life now, ive lost my childhood and many years to come. One day i hope to get back to my normal self, dont know when or how but i hope i will. The person who abused me, was my grandfather, utterly disgusting. I hate my life, i hate my face, i hate my body, i hate my past, i see a counsilor and loads of self eestem people, i skip school and get treated like a dumb kid. Just because i dont go to school and get told off alot, im not mouthy or anything im smart and im good in school but i get looked down upon because i skip. i dont think its fair that i get treated like the naughty kids when i have an issue that i cant RESOLVE.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Depressed Girl

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 21, 2011

To Depressed Girl:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There comes a time in every young person's life that they must choose the kind of person they're going to be. Are they going to be the kind of person who makes excuses for not doing things, or are they going to pull up their boot straps and overcome what has happened to them in favour of becoming the shining example of their own potential. Are they going to be the kind of person that would rather make excuses about the way they behave, or are they going to recognize that the power that was taken from them is now theirs to take back. Are they going to be the kind of person that will take the torch of abuse from their abuser and self-abuse and sabotage their own future, or are they going to realize they deserve to treat themselves with the dignity and respect and love they were so cruelly denied. What your grandfather did to you was criminal. And yes, the effects are devastating. The difference between now and when you were being sexually abused is that one, you are no longer being sexually abused by your grandfather; two, you are maturing and becoming more of an adult; three, you can now choose to do the work required through counselling to gain control and power over your own life. That's what survivors do. And you ARE a survivor. I understand the downward spiral, I really do. That doesn't mean I accept that that's the only direction you can go. I don't accept that...because you survived the worst of it. It's what you tell yourself now that must now change. But only you can make that choice. I have confidence that you'll make the choice to survive and thrive. Go to your counselling sessions with an open mind to the process and with the attitude that you will overcome the abuse. I'm sending you positive energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jul 21, 2011

i get it
by: Anonymous

Be careful with yourself. I know the feeling of hating everything about yourself. I even had a counselor who made me feel worse about myself, if that was possible.
But I married a kind man and I don't have the right to not feel loved anymore. I AM loved.
My older sister taught me two things that have stayed with me. And it DOES help to have an older sister, eight years older, who lived with the same parents and SAW what was happening.
She taught me:
1. you can never treat anyone the way our parents treated each other( beatings, alcoholism, terrorizing behavior)
2. marry someone who is happy

OH, Little Depressed Girl. I KNOW your story. I kept doing things to keep depressed. It felt RIGHT, like I DESERVED to be depressed... and even counseling wasn't enough.
I hate to say it, but finding Christ helped me. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING about you.
I found a church where people KNOW suffering of all kinds, but especially sexual abuse. It is a miracle to find people who can talk about it as openly as one of my friends - who has SIX children with a seventh on the way. She was blessed with a set of parents who loved Christ first but that didn't stop sexual abuse in her family. It took her almost thirty years to tell HER MOTHER that she and her sister and her younger brother all molested each other... crazy, isnt' it? And they were surrounded by Christian love! So sexual abuse springs up ANYWHERE And EVERYWHERE.
MY problem was the opposite of hers. I hated Christ. I desecrated my crucifix sexually when I was seven going for my First communion in the catholic church. I didn't TRUST GOD AT ALL...

so. I don't have the answers, just the HOPE that you will question yourself, and those taking care of you... I abused myself right up to the time of my marriage. I was - I am - still sick from it all, at age 57, but I still have HOPE... I have witnessed great healing... it is a mystery...
I hope this helps you in some way... find ONE person - try Alanon, get a sponsor you can talk with about everything... find a sister in the catholic church, they are wonderful, usually, the nuns I have known.
I really don't have the answer, but I try.
And I have been happily married to a wonderful friend, a wonderful man, for 23 years. I nver had children, I was too shaken by my bad relationship to my father... THAT"S a LONG story... for another time...

Take care. I hope this helps you in SOME small way. I "GET" your story...

Jul 21, 2011

You Deserve the Best
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry you went through that. I don't know if anyone has told you but, you didn't deserve what happened to you. You didn't do anything to cause it and you don't deserve a horrible life from here on out. You certainly don't deserve to die! You deserve to live, you deserve a good life with people who care about you. You deserve to give yourself what he didn't give you, the very best. I know it seems impossible but it isn't. Please give yourself the very best and get help. I am 40 years old and although I have gone to therapy in the past, it seemed no one could really get it and help me. I didn't give up. I am now finally seeing a therapist who is helping me, and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. It takes a lot of commitment and hard work, but it is worth it. You are worth it. Like Darlene said in different words, don't take up the torch and do to yourself what your Grandfather did to you. You will never forget what happened but, it is possible to live a happy healthy life. You deserve that. I wish you all the very best life has to offer.

Carrie (some of my story is on here too.)

Jul 21, 2011

From: Little Girl Lost
by: Anonymous

Dear Depressed Girl: Reading your story really hit home. I was sexually abused as a child also. I suffered from Depression and Panic Disorder. I had no self esteem, felt shame and sometimes even wanted to die. I agree with Darlene and the person who found God. I did go for councelling. I'm in my late forties now, my dear. I'm healing slowly, but surely. Darlene also has been a great inspiration to me and my faith in God got me through. Please remember that none of this was your fault. Please, please go get councelling. Not only will it save your life, you can help others who suffered through the same thing we both had. So hard to do, I know but I believe you can do it. Also remember we're not alone. So many of us have gone through the same turmoil. May God Bless you and help you to go in your healing journey. Someone who deeply cares what happens to you. Hugs.

Jul 22, 2011

Don't quit: Don't give up on yourself: Be a winner
by: maurice

I WILL I CAN I MUST BECAUE I AM WORTH IT: Great you had the courage to search for and arrive here on Darlene's safe place, safe haven, she has welcomed you with a very loving comment: Her words are re-assuring, encourageing, will empower you once you begin taking action and take charge of re-building your self worth: your self esteem: Let your motto be I WILL I CAN I MUST BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: The other two people ahve given you encourageing loving heart words too to build up your self confidence: I can change things for the better for myself: I don't need to stay in the morass I find myself in because of those bad people who took my innocence, my dignity, my self worth away when I was vunerable and weak: I am not to blame: I did nothing wrong: They were the adults, they were my abusers: the blame is all with them: up to now they have ruined my self confidence but I will prove them wrong: I may be feeling I am at a low ebb in my thinking about my self but I am going to rise from this place and get on with living my life to the full as a teenager and young thinking adult: Follow Darlene's heart words in her comment to you persoanlly: get some form of counselling: special, besutiful girl with gifts and tallents look in the mirror and say I love me: I am going to be a winner: change your daily/weekly routine Get out and about with your friends and fellow students taking part in TEAM sports plus sporting and cultural activities: Then in a short time you'll be a changed person: Have one/two real friends your own age, special ones that you can trust with your most intimate secrets and all the girlie stuff that girls go through in their adolecent years: Taking part in TEAM sports will help you make real friends and you'll be surrounded with many aqauaintances (Girls) your own age who will help you share your gifts and tallents with them: There is safety in numbers: making friends with the opposite sex will come naturally and you will be helped by your tam mates especially your friends to be safe and to value and respect yourslef and your beautiful body: so that you will expect others to value and respect you for the special person your are for them: You'll be fine: Don't Quit, Alwyas believe in yourself: Have ahealthy mind in a healthy body: TODAY I WILL I CAN I MUST: BE GENTLE AND KIND TO YOURSELF; LOOK IN THAT MIRROR SAY I LOVE ME: SAY NICE AND POSITIVE THINGS TO THE ME' Who am I: I am. Amaizing, the architect of my own destiny: Beautiful both inside and out: Courageous: will to take chances: Dynamic ever changing and growing: Enthiuastic about living and loving life. Lovable exactly as I am: Optomistic Anything is possible: Spiritual, having a human experience: Okay Now stop feeling depressed: My motto: I will etc: counselling will help:

Nov 03, 2011

God is with you
by: Anonymous

wow hey you dont have to be so depressed just pray to God. he can solve it for you. he can also let you forgive him. I know that there is most likely a lot of pain. most of my life i have grown up my dad was not around alot. so that is my advice please think about it.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Write Your Child Abuse Story

Child Abuse Story From Depressed Girl

Comments for Child Abuse Story From Depressed Girl

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Depressed Girl