Child Abuse Story from Amanda J
by Amanda J
(Victoria, Australia)
We're victims, it's not our fault!
As a child, I was very loud and sociable and always making everyone laugh. Behind closed doors though it was a different story. My father beat me. Repeatedly and it hurt...a lot. What made it a whole lot worse is that my mother would stand in the door way and watch. While the pain seared through me like a steel rod and i recoiled as each blow came, I could see her standing there watching this happen.
Can you imagine what must have been going through a 4 year olds head while this happened? I thought I deserved it. I thought I had done something wrong all the time to provoke him.
You might think it would have been easy to do something about it but put yourself in my shoes. Your 4, tiny and helpless, thin and under 1m tall. Your mum is just over 5" and your dad is this big built man who is half an inch under 6". He has a deep voice that rumbles like thunder and a short temper fuse.
One night, mum called the police after he had beaten me back blue and shoved her a few times. The violence didn't stop for me even after that. I was still the victim of emotional and sometimes physical abuse up until I was about 8.
I'm now 14, suffer from depression, anorexia, anxiety and am a commited self-harmer in recovery. I still haven't forgiven them for what they let happen to me, I don't think I ever fully will.
To those of you out there that are being abused, it's not your fault! You're the victims. Seek help from someone whether it's the police, neighbour or some other trusted adult. If you know someone is being abused, help them.
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