Comments for Too Many Responsibilities

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Mar 10, 2017
To Victoria:
by: Darlene - Webmaster

You submitted your story quite some time ago...my sincere apologies for taking so long to post. I've been dealing with eye issues that have made reading online a major problem. I do thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Having responsibilities as a child is not a bad thing, as long as they're not way beyond what a child is capable of. Parents do have the right to instill a work ethic in their children. But being called useless, ugly and nasty is not okay. Nor is being told in any way by a parent that she or he wishes you were dead. That's emotional abuse. I suggest you contact Child Help at https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/ (copy & paste into your browser) in order to talk to someone about what you're dealing with.

I send you love, Victoria.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 12, 2017
"hidden" abuse
by: nobody at all

I think what your parents seem to "add up to", was that they didn't love u. whatever the type of abuse - from vicious physical violence, to exploiting a child by forcing them 2 work instead of live a normal childhood, and anything in between, lack of love is definitely the thing that ties all kinds of abuse together.

I actually disagree w/Darlene that kids need to learn responsibility, in YOUR case, cuz u were forced 2 take on way too much "responsibility" - which was actually more like slave labor. a manifestation of their lack of love 4u. sorry but this is how I feel about your story. of course their verbal/emotional abuse was very wrong and unloving, too. but society puts 2 much emphasis on this kind of thing, and almost ignores the ESSENCE behind it: lack of humanity and love. which is what u suffer from.

so much abuse is subtle and goes unremarked-upon. not letting u go 2 parties cuz u had 2 work, work, work. I mean, there are child labor LAWS against this kind of thing! your parents were also stingy beyond belief, worshipping every penny, while neglecting YOU, and the material things YOU NEEDED, unless u earned the money 4 them. it sounds like u paid your own way thru childhood, which parents are supposed 2 pay 4!

sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean it 2b supportive of YOU.

try 2 find a good therapist 2 help u untangle all this in your psyche, so u can continue life in a way that's good and healthy 4 YOU. look at all the money u earned FOR THEM all these years! do u even have money FOR a therapist, after all your years of ridiculously long and hard WORK? money 4 your OWN needs?

best wishes! I just want 2 help uc what really has been going on with your "parents" who didn't really parent u. I bet they kept telling u that every bite of food in your mouth, every piece of clothing, COST MONEY and were your "earnings" 4 all your work. in reality, parents r supposed 2 take care of u financially. any money u earn, whether in the family business or from an outside job - and never earlier than the legal age of 16 (in the u.s. anyway) should belong 2 YOU. if it goes right into the family "pot", u will never have any money 2 get free of this slavish situation ur in.

barb c

Mar 14, 2017
To NAA:
by: Darlene - Webmaster

Thank you for you kind and lovely private words to me. In a world that often forgets kindness and appreciation, it's always a boost to get a compliment in my line of work. Best to you, NAA. And may your own healing deepen as you provide support and encouragement to those who share their stories here.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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