Relationship Violence Story From Name Undislcosed

by Name Undisclosed
(Location Undisclosed)

What did I do? 
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 months now. he was really nice and good at first. but about 4 months into it... he is starting to change. he hit me 5 days in a row. the first time... i slept at his house and we woke up late for school so i told him that we had to get up and get ready so what does he do? he goes on his computer. so i said babe we are already late hurry up.. and he just snapped right there. he slammed his laptop closed and started pouting. so i told him to stop pouting. he gave me this look and threw a hanger at me. i said f**k you. he whipped his pants at me so i went up to him and pushed him or tryed any way and said dont f***ing throw things at me. but before i could even move my hands away he had me. he grabbed me so fast i didn't even see it happening. before i new it he was holding me tightly and pushing me back up towards a wall. i tripped on one of his weights and i fell as he pushed me so that made it worse. i fell on the ground and he was still holding me. he shook me and told me that i shouldn't talk sh*t about him. he let go and went back to dressing himself. i got up and said i wasn't talking sh*t i just said hurry up. then i left to smoke one of his cigarettes. when he came out to the car i jumped and got scared that he was coming for me to show me who is in charge and that i shouldn't talk back to him. but he didn't do anything he just drove me to school then got mad at me for not talking to him the whole car ride. but can you blame me? what if i said the wrong thing and made things worse. the second time we were in his car just hanging out and i tickled him and he said stop but i wouldn't stop because i dont know im an idiot or something. so he took off his seat belt and got on top of me (i yelped or screamed pretty loud) and took my fingers and twisted them back at the same time while twisting my wrists with all of his body weight. i yelped and tried to get away. he asked if i was done. i tried to get away. so he punched me on random places on my body and used his feet to push me against his door and pressed me against it. i could barely breath. he asked me if i was done again. i didn't say anything i just struggled. so he took his feet away and got on top of me again and held me down i stopped struggling and yelping at all the pain he was causing me. i just shut up. he got off went back to the driver seat. i layed my head down and he started elbowing me in the shoulder. he said see what you made me do? you make me do it and now you are trying to make me feel bad about it. and then he told me to get the h*ll out of his car. so i did. i instigated him so its kind of my own fault i guess. i mean if i didn't keep tickling him he wouldn't of done that. the third time we were in his car again. i didn't look at him right or i said something stupid or something and he got pissed. i think i said he was weird or something but i didn't mean it literately its just a word... but he flipped. he got to me so fast and just started wailing on me. he punched me on my arm so many times. he wouldn't stop it felt like an hour when really it was less then 120 seconds. i whimpered. i didn't want to cry. whimpering is bad enough, how freaking embarrassing. the fourth time he got mad at me for i dont even know what and he started yelling at me and then pushed me down i tried to catch myself but it didn't work and my elbow hit the wall hard on my way down. the fifth time i pushed him because he made me mad and he almost tripped over this bike so he pushed me into this wall really hard and made me lose all the air in my lungs then he punched me in the chest twice. he said he could have died and he should punish me more but my family was here so he said i was lucky. that was all in one week.. i dont know what i did to make him so mad... i never made him mad before. now im to scared to be myself. he doesn't like the real me. he likes the me when we met. and every one is different in the beginning. i asked him how he could do that to me and he said "because you make me do it." i also asked him what he thinks about when he is doing those things to me and he said "i think about how you made me go that far." i told him it wasn't my decision to start wailing on me it was yours. and he gave me this look that said dont start this sh*t right now and said, "then stop p*ssing me off and pushing me and my anger, and then i will stop." i dont know. on my left arm there are bruises all over. black and blue and brown ones scattered all over on my right arm i have 2 green bruises on my shoulder and a huge black one near my elbow and another huge brown one on my actual arm where every one can see. today one of his friends asked me about them and how i got them. my boyfriend didn't tell me what i should say if someone should ask.. my bf gave me a look though so i told his friend drunken fun. how pitiful. i know. he said he was sorry... eventually. he held me and i was scared and he asked me why i was shaking and tensing up. i said i didn't know.. he gave me this look that look that i know to well now the one im scared of. he asked me if i was scared of him and i said no. when really its a yes.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Name Undislcosed

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Apr 28, 2011
To Name Undisclosed:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Get out, get out now! You are in a violent relationship, one that will grow in intensity and escalate. You are in danger in this relationship. He is a typical abuser, blaming you for HIS violence. That won't change. You can't take responsibility for what he has done to you; that's all on him because he chose to be violent and abuse you. None of this is your fault. Always remember that. Staying with him means that he will always find fault with you, because he's got serious problems, problems that you can't help him with. Lean on your family and friends for support. Tell them you've broken up with this guy and why. Do not wait for another episode or for him to tell you what to say. The longer you stay in this relationship the more dangerous it will become. Speak with a school counsellor and tell the counsellor that you've broken up with him and why, and then find out what resources are available to you, at the school and in the community. I will also say that you yourself have to stop being violent. While his violence is not your fault; you must take responsibility for your violence. Respect for others is key, but respect for yourself is also paramount. If you live in the USA, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Call the number above. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series

Apr 29, 2011
Get Help: NOW: Get your life together: Become strong:
by: maurice

Hi don't be fooled by him: You are one very intelligent girl: You know deep down it is not love between you: not even a relationship if you don't value and respect each other: Grow up quicker than him: Darlene has given you the soundest advice you'll ever want but you must act now and be in charge of your own life and destiny: Just leave him now: Don't listen to his insincere talk: I'm sorry and all that, yes until the next and the next time, he won't change: Get a life and have real friends around you who value and respect you: ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Talk to your closest of friend (s) your own age and gender allow them to talk sense into your head about him: But end the relationship NOW NOW: Darlene knows and wants what is the best for you if you act on her advice that is exactly what you want for yourself: The best: Have a healthy mind in a healthy body: get out there being active and alive with your school mates and friends taking part in Team Sports and sporting and cultural activities and I guarantee you'll make real natural friends for life with loads of aquaintances to make you feel good when you meet: Your one smart young woman: you know why you wrote on Darlene's site: A cry for help and loving encourageing advice from some one very professional and knowledgeable who cares about the safety of everyone who visits her site: Live well: Laugh alot: Love much: be gentle and kind to yourself, be safe, stay safe:

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