Relationship Violence Story From Laurie

by Laurie
(England)

My story is definitely not the worst: 
You have anger problems. You explained that back while I was judging you, and I accepted it. I was stupid enough to believe you, that you could control it enough to never hurt me. I love you, I really do. And I know you care about me, as well. I know it hurts you everytime I flinch away when you make a sudden movement, and I hate the look in your eyes as I try to pretend I hadn't cowered.

You're a really nice guy, with a great personality, but you have a big problem :/ You get annoyed at the smallest things extrememly easily, and once you're pissed off you're destructive. You lose control, and don't realise what you're doing for a short while.
When you come back round, and see me curled up with my hands shielding my face, you softly call my name. You ask if I'm alright, tell me you're sorry, shake me and try and make me look at you. If my smiles not 100% believeable, which it rarely is to you 'cause you know me so well, you stress out again, but this time hurting yourself (Headbutting walls, punching metal etc) , until I grab your wrist, push against your head and force myself in between you and whatever you're hitting yourself on. "Get the f**k out of my way, now!" and struggle against me slightly. I pin your arms and hold you close, and even though you're over half a foot taller and a lot more muscly and broad shouldered than I am, you quit resisting after a few moments. I never get mad at you, but you hate yourself for ever hurting me. I always try to convince you that you've done no wrong, but you wont believe me :/
You hate yourself, put yourself down, deny my support and disagreements.
And you know what? That's what hurts me the most. Seeing you wake up from that spell of emotion, scared and ashamed and hating yourself for what you've done. I can't leave you or feel sorry for myself. I've got to help you, even if it means putting myself in danger :/

The slightest things set you off. You'll be playing a game, I'll be on the laptop. The laptop will make a sudden noise as a pop-up appears, and you'll scream at me and make me feel like s**t. You'll be annoyed at something, and I'll try to console you. Sometimes it works, sometimes you go into a rage and consistently headbutt, elbow, punch and throw me around. Other times, I'll be feeling really ill and say 'no', and beg with you, and fight to throw you off. But you'll just laugh and tell me I love it really.
The only time you ever take me seriously is on the occasions where I can't take much more, and I break down crying. You act like you're in agony then. What goes through your mind, huhh? I love you, you mean the world to me. I just wish you'd stop causing yourself pain :/




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:


Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Laurie

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 07, 2010
Laurie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm going to be extremely frank with you: This boy IS hurting you. And if you think for one second that he isn't, read and re-read the story you submitted. You are in a cycle of violence, and the violence WILL escalate. You must get out of the relationship and get the help you need to keep him out of your life. You say you love him, but no matter what you say about him, there is nothing that will convince me that you can actually love someone who is abusive. There is something else going on in your life. If you think you can "fix" him, you're putting yourself in greater and greater danger. Please seek counseling to determine why it is that you feel you can do no better than someone who is abusive, someone who will continually get MORE abusive. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?



Dec 08, 2010
Get Help: NOW: Get your life together: Become strong:
by: maurice

Laurie: simple: Get away from that uncontrolled freak, abuser, he won't change: But then if you want and like his violence than why did you write on Darlene's site: It was your cry for help: Darlene has given it to you in her comment: If you are genuine than you will take her loving, encourageing, helpful advice: I want what is the best for you as does Darlene: You must want it for yourself: Get a real friend or two in your own age and gender and get to hell away from him: He won't change once he knows your compatible to his wishes and whims: Violence is no part of a loving relationship: Don't be fooled and don't fool yourself:

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Write Your Relationship Violence Story - Talk Before Touching®.