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Apr 22, 2015
To "War":
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I completely understand what it's like to walk away with a message of blame and rejection, even when it isn't spoken. What's important is that you not take that message as truth for yourself, which is so easy to do.

Oftentimes, when we think we aren't taking on what we've been told--either directly or indirectly--as children, the message was so strong that we actually DO embrace it. Sometimes, without even realizing it. That's why it's paramount to your healing to change your perspective. Not that your family didn't send these terrible messages. Rather, that you yourself don't continue to believe it yourself, on an emotional level. You may already understand that on a logical level, but likely not so much deep down inside.

Your parents were ill-equipped to deal with the challenges of what went down in their lives at that time. And the system hurt them on a profound basis. Which in turn left you as the one to be "blamed", as it were.

But that doesn't make you responsible. That makes you victimized, as a person with illness, from the system and from misguided and human-but-highly-flawed parents.

What you tell yourself now will be the difference between either or not you find healing in your life.

You were not to blame. And neither was your illness. What you do NOW with all that you endured can not only bring healing to your life, but it can also bring healing to others who are enduring or have endured something similar.

You have an awareness that others who haven't gone through what you went through will not understand. Use that awareness in a positive way. In a way that can help others heal, which in turn can also help you to heal. Doing so would bring great purpose to what you lived through. Not in war, but in understanding, love and compassion. I for one am delighted that your attempts to end it all failed. It is in that failing that you can bring hope and healing to so many.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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