Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed154

by Don't want people to know
(USA)

Well I get 'hit for things like not praying,not ORGANIZING my closet and stuff simple stuff and I go to a class and when you don't look at your religion book or hold it the right way or sit the right was they hit you brutely and when I tell my parents about this they sternly say it's good for you so I just mostly sit in the back of the class and try not to get noticed its not like I have a problem with reading and sitting and looking and repeating the same verses over again for four hours, well I do its not my biggest problem the problem is why I do it I do it it's because we have to memorize the verses like pages and page and we only have a few hours or some people like me just can't seem to memorize it and well if I didn't all hell would break lose I would get beatings consistently and get yelled at and I already have enough of that at home so I fake tell them that I pass so I would survive for the day I've been doing that do a long time and still to this day I'm doing it ...I really want to try to learn and all but I have school too and right after school I have that class and my parents won't barely let me do homework they say go memorize and then do your homework and my dad stays till 7:00 usually and I just try to avoid him in the mornings I go right to school and afterwords to religion class and my mom is a stay at home mom with 4 other kids so I don't think SHE acnologise my feelings much I barely get to go out the only way I can is to beg for a month and all I have to do is plaster a fake smile on my face even when I'm crying on the inside someday I want to meet a guy who changes my life forever with a simple smile and I hope one day I could smile a real smile for once too but too bad it's against my religion and most of the time I just want to go and tell my mom 'hey parents I'm sick of my life and lead them to my small room I share with my brother and say do you see all of the tally marks that's about how many times I wanted to kill myself' I wish I had real friends ...enough of that the reason I'm finally letting this out is because my mom just asked me if her 'small hits that leave marks are considered abuse and whether if someone asked me I would say I get abused I said yes and she then got mad at Me I went and got my tablet and ran upstairs because I was furious how dare SHE say that I was lieing and that wasnt the first time this week she said that bulls**t my dad told me I could no longer read books and I wasnt allowed and that I was only allowed to read religious books why don't they get this I will never be the religious child and smart child they want me to be I would runaway but I don't know anyone close here and I have nowhere to go but I will move out I'm still living this hell unlike other people on this site