Comments for Child Abuse Story From Amber F

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Aug 30, 2010
 Amber:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

None of what is or has happened is your fault. NONE OF IT. You didn't kill your mother; she died in the process of birthing YOU. You are alive for a reason. And yes, I understand what you are going through, not trusting. How can you trust teachers and cops when they've betrayed that trust...so please, consider contacting one of the hotlines listed on my stories page, depending on where you live, in order to talk to someone confidentially; not necessarily to report, but to talk. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Aug 31, 2010
 its called prostitution, what he does,
by: Anonymous

you not alone i am going to ask god and angels to come help it sounds nutty but it will happen, first off you need someone close in family to help you , call the delaware state police who investigate peodfiles and are doing this now as we speak, give the name of the dad, anonmous or truth however you feel best, he is a pimp , can you sign up for job corp , local one they take you to live and learn trade and school go to the head of people principal or other supervisor or cheif of police call child protective services , do you have the adresses of the men, and descriptions go on watch dog see if you recognize any of them faces pics, its on line, free , public, and later you sue or the state going to sue the school and that cop too, or was it a cop, i wonder now, i beleive you, you need a guadian angel, wittnesses too, you take pics of any physical stuff marks and save the wip or other too, do you have a doctor you didnt say about that go see one schoolor other too, keep record of when and time you go and when time anythng happen even if before it didnt help keep a log call the domestic violence place too hotline too if you need help
you got to leave , do you have friends go to thier house some way, network others who you trust beleive you, witness adults too find who would help or family go to, gather your thing s you need and yo got to leave not run away find some safe place and go to friend s if not each day go study after school stay as long as can and at library, anything volunteer too look that up too hospital or other places anywhere do intership look up they are mostley older kids but maybe volunteer call boys girls club join, get out
network and then do a plan to tell again this time with witneses and more proof then get cina lawyer, you can call musselman , a md lawyer or ask legal aide, there also something called imancipation for you as kid if you have place you can go live other s to stay and job or have volunteer you can do this legal aid ask them or domestic lawyer, find one, you are smart please do this this is serious he is a pimp and comment back this site for help too do a plan today , stay out of th house much as can come back curfew but honeslty your situation you got to leave not all cops bad, and school find the cheif of one tell them , if there witnesse to this those men others saw you or others , see together then you have proof, try to remember if there was anyone saw you with them ect, you got to find a way out you get help call the hotline too,
Aug 31, 2010
 your mom thru me cause i almost bleed to death too with two different pregnancys i want you to know the truth not lies about moms
by: Anonymous

ok listen to this too about your mom, i am a mom
i too almost bled to death two times two different pregnancys, the first time i woke up my second child, someone had put me after birth in a closet in the emergency room on a bed i woke up looked around blood everywhere, i almost fainted litterally the entire floor puddles filled up, i remember thinking i just had baby where is the baby, why am i inhere , i yelled no one heard i prayed and got strenth to kick the door open, you should have seen the look on thier faces at hospital , yelling what she doing in there oh my god she going to die, ran around changed me and put tubes all over , rush around me yelling get this and that she going to die, hemorage, first thing saved me was where is my baby, so dont you ever ever think that, your mom gave life to you , to hell with that nut an abusers you going to live meant to be and get rid of those nuts criminals thats whats going to happen ok , i found out later whoever put me in there i dont know why the dad and grandad didnt know where i was freaking out wanted to sue the hospital and you can do that too later ok you say bled to death if i survived then something in me is your mom surviving now telling me what to tell you, i want you to be safe and with stand this much as you can to do plan get help some way we got to get you the help , how dare that nut call you killer, i wouldnt have wanted anything but love and treasures if i had died , you a girl too a little lady she live in you , how dare those monsters , make you think this way, if i survived let say i had not i know last thought was where my baby, and hers too , and want love an happiness not this horrible fate for you a mom how dare them, i tell you the other one too next
you going to get out of this , and get to safe place ask here for one, too others please help ask for info where you live too please
Aug 31, 2010
 me too a mom second tme almost bleed to death see what happen to me your mom loved you
by: Anonymous

second time i almost bled to death my girl , first off they said when i had my amio, where they showyou what youhave girl or boy, said girl i was thrilled already had boys everyone was thrilled, a girl, but they said there were three of them, babies what, i thought oh my god , ok
then they change it to two, then i go home with not even her dad my x husband , who said oh boy you got hands full now, he was friend then helped her dad at work he said ok to it, trusted me then,
we got married too her dad, later but i go home then they call say no we were wrong just one,
yet when i had her, the dad and nurse took her, leaving the room that i didnt like , rude nurse who was eating crackers rude women rude i didnt get to hold her they sat her next to me i saw her, like her dad, exactly beautiful they said most perfect baby they ever deleiverd, then all of sudden i felt more coming they insisted afterbirth i had other pregnancys too didnt feel after birth to me i said no its a baby it feels like one , they ran around rushed and siad we give you this drug they coudnt find her dad or that nurse either i went out, supposedly it was after birth i just wonder honestly , since they had said more birth then changed it two times,
i lost alot of blood too then , very very weak
Aug 31, 2010
 see i am a mom been thru this your mom loved you nine months you grew inside her
by: Anonymous

contine secnd birth almost bleed to death, i was very very weak i had to stay much longer , and worse they wolnt let me see her the baby, thenwhen they brought her to me days later, she didnt look the same i remember this , i even got up they yelled i went to the nurury look at babies and demanded to sit there feed her i dont understand what that meant but , she just didnt look the same , later, and then worse this grose nurse woujlnt leave me alone middle of night you could tell she was a wierdo, i warned her to leave me alone, i was told i lost alot of blood , also i had a misscarriage or well i got pregant again that next year the doctor said i had very little c hance to have it, had to stay in bed to have anothetr one that soon, then too i bled each time i had to go to doctor her dad mean and such they said we didnt have to go thru this they said if i did i maybe could die too , lose me her dad mean as hell to me , i eventually lost that fight, but i wanted all my kids and no women has kid dies in birth wanqts thier precious angel born to be hurt by miserable sick nut criminals so you got to fight, i did , she did too i bet , ok angels going to come save you some way. you got to plan it out , go to job corp look it up you live there free ok, learn something maybe you become a nurse, doctor later your mom be so proud of you in heaven or earth, i just wonder too maybe mircle come for you. you a girl right , there is girls life too, you can call chidren familie first, delaware or wait she moved they know where ask them, they counseled a prostitute pj i think a boy, same thing happen similiar ask for her help or ask them relocate get job at beach , there and go to that place georgetown, de family child ren first they know what to do, '
maybe you do that its the only other place i know for sure they counseled prositution , i dont know anyone else, help you but i think , give you the names i checkinto this this week and reply back cause your situation is very serious, you got to find way away from them now, immediately
Aug 31, 2010
 i found out the worst of it today
by: Amber F

i found out i am pregnant. i really can't believe it i know i can't raise a baby in that house i can't breath when i think about it
Sep 03, 2010
 Amber...
by: Sara

I can't imagine how you're feeling now. Just know you have a lot of options. Whether it's abortion, adoption, raising the child...you are in control of your life now.

You're 17. Are you still with your dad or far away? If you're living with him use the resources on this site to find a place you can go. There has to be a hotline that can direct you to the correct place.

Next counseling - you need it. You need to talk to someone and you need to learn how to cope with your emotions. Having a child is a very emotional job (I'm a parent).

If you decide to keep the baby, take parenting classes, read books. Knowing the developmental stages of a child will help you understand...what the baby can understand. When I was growing up I was punished in a way no one deserves, so I had to look into parenting message boards, books & websites to LEARN how to discipline correctly.

My heart goes out to you. Your story is NOT your secret to keep. It's your fathers dirty secret. You did not kill your mother - bleeding killed your mother. And unfortunately it's a VERY common part of childbirth, less common in modern times. This road is yours....you choose your actions & reactions from now on. You are your own person, you are a survivor & you will thrive.

By the way, Courage to Heal is a great book. It really helped me.
Sep 07, 2010
 My Blessing For You
by: Sai Kit

Hi Amber,

Your experiences with your teacher, police, and biological father make it hard to believe in someone. It's how the oppressors keep you in the dark. They betray again and again, and lie to you repeatedly to make you think you are helpless.

Be a fighter, fight for your baby, fight for your own happiness and future. You can be a girl, a kid, and still be strong. You don't need to return evil for evil, but goodness can be tough too. You must believe that you can make it out there without your dad. You must believe that someone, somewhere will offer the help that you need.

Never stop looking for help. If someone turns out to be a disappointment, next.

I will be able to get a job soon. I will donate money to case like yours. He shouldn't be your guardian any longer. Find some good people and ask for their help. It can't be worst than your situation. If you go out, I am sure there is at least 95% chance you will find a better situation than where you are at right now, and for your baby.

I don't want to say this, but really, the choice is yours. You are the only person who can change this situation. If you decide to get help, you will get well. Be courageous. I know that most experts or professionals would say something like "oh poor things". But I think the right thing to say to you is to be courageous. Only that and taking the right actions will you be able to move on and beat your fate.

Sai
Sep 21, 2010
 Hi
by: Cleo

Hi Amber,

Hi im cleo and i'm 16 i totally agree with the police thing my Father abused me physically and emotionally and in the court case to prove that he was abusing us we had tape recordings of him abusing us actual physical evidence and still they didn't believe us and said that i still needed to have a 'relationship' with my father and should keep seeing him. They had and have no idea there all idiots. about the baby thing i don't know what you want to do with keeping it or adoption or abortion personally i don't believe in abortion but its your decision. i'm gathering that your still living with your dad. And you have to get out ignore the police and teachers that won't listen there stupid but KEEP telling people eventually someone will listen even if it's a friends parent or if you have a really good friend and go stay at there house as if he follows you or hits you at there house they can act as witness'. But with a child you have to realise that you're not just responsible for one life now but two. i don't want to scare you. But you don't know how your dad will react or how he treats you will effect the baby and for your saftey!!! You will be ok everything will work out but you have to percivire and KEEP telling people i know it maybe hard at times but you have to have faith that there are good people in this world and that not everyone is heartless (it took me a long time to realise this) and someone will help you. GOOD LUCK!!!
Oct 22, 2010
 nobody deserves that
by: BMW Princess

NO child deverves abuse for any reason. there is never an excuse. I find it helpful to say It's not me it's you,or it's your problem not mine helps. imagine your talking to the "person" who hurt you.
Nov 14, 2010
 social workers?
by: Anonymous

Hi, Amber. I hope you are well and that things have worked out for you.

In the story you posted, you mentioned teachers and police, but no social workers. I find it surprising that the police investigated and not a trained child welfare social worker. I wonder if you would have more services available if you reported this to a social worker perhaps via on of the hotlines listed?

Be well.

My two cents.

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