child abuse story from Marnie page was created January 5, 2007 and was
originally posted on December 12, 2006 as story #52.
is from Thornton, Colorado, USA
following child abuse story from Marnie depicts physical abuse and severe
The child abuse effects on Marnie: extremely low self-esteem, promiscuity and choosing abusive relationships when she allows herself to get attached to someone.
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to most of these stories I was not abused, but compared to most
"normal" lives I was. My mother had to keep her pregnancy with me a
secret, as her family would have taken her to Mexico to get an abortion.
Pregnancy out of marriage just was not permitted.
the most part, she was a single mother at first. However, she obviously had a
boyfriend of sorts, because I have heard stories of how he broke my arm at the
age of 1 1/2. I had been told not to put my hands into the dishwasher, and when
he caught me, he closed and locked the door of the dishwasher. After that, I
had to go to work with my mom, (she was a waitress), and I got fat eating the
ice cream the customers would buy me.
I was 2, my mom married the man I considered my father most of my childhood. We
had a "normal" storybook life. We always had a decent home, food on
the table, and all the things we needed. This would not continue, because while
my "Dad" was out working hard on his college degree and for the Air
Force, my mom was being a drunk. She drank all day, and tried to sober up for
when my "Dad" got home. She put water into the liquor bottles to
attempt to hide it . . . during my childhood, I thought it was normal to go to
the liquor store every week and fill up the car, just like the grocery store.
After 9 years of this, my "Dad" divorced her, and this is where the
went to live in Ruidoso, New Mexico with our mom. By this time, I also had a
sister and a brother. I was 11, she was 6, and he was 4. With no one there to
tell her otherwise, my mom didn't have to confine her daytime drinking to the
house anymore. She was in the bar from open to close. Even though my dad paid
her enough Child Support that we should have been fine, none of the bills had
been paid. Three months later, we got kicked out of our house. My mom made me
spread the paint thinner as she followed me with matches. I had to go back in
to rescue my dog, and we were headed out of town. Unfortunately, the owner's
son had witnessed the entire thing, followed us out of town, and said if we
didn't head back he would shoot our tires out. We headed back. My mom said that
if I did a good enough job of crying to the police, she wouldn't go to jail.
Well, I know now that a child's tears will not beat an arson rap, but I didn't
at the time. I felt like I had failed as they hauled her off to jail. I would
never see her again. Her father bailed her out of jail, and she killed herself.
was sent to live with my aunt and uncle. The brother and sister I had grown up
with went to live with their dad. We never knew we'd be split up. Now I had
four brothers, three older and one younger. The older ones had just hit their
teen years. I was blamed for everything they did. After having lived as an Air
Force brat, this house was out of control. Both my aunt and uncle worked, and
they came home between 6 and 8 every night. I was always hearing "this
house was fine until she came". My aunt even accused me of wanting to
sleep with her sons.
14, I was sent to live in the group home. One time during my stay, I was sent
back to my aunt and uncle's house. But I made sure to get sent back to the
group home. There I only got blamed for what I actually did. And my reality had
only to do with my behavior, not what kind of day the grown-ups were having.
a result of taking the blame, I have spent years dealing with self-esteem
issues. I had a few short relationships with abusive men, not believing I was
worth any better treatment. I got pregnant young, and lucky for me I knew
enough to not have a child born into that. After being accused of wanting to
have sex with my "Brothers", I became a promiscuous teenager, feeling
that I was dirty anyway. I have spent years dealing with abandonment issues,
feeling like I wasn't a good enough daughter for my mother to live for, and
that no one wanted to keep me. I have also done some running from attachment,
not wanting to get too close, just to get hurt again.
that is not why I chose to write. I am writing in hopes that someone in the
child protection system is reading this. The system we have in place now does
not work. I consider myself lucky that I never lived in physical fear. If I was
an abused child, or wife, for that matter, and I called the police, in this
country, the perpetrator would only be taken to jail if there were marks on me
at the time I called. And that would only be for a day or two. Either way, I
would remain in the custody of the abuser while the "investigation"
There will be abused children and abused women until something is done about our system. Once a victim reports a crime, they should not have to face the perpetrator ever again. It may seem like a quick response to a Social Worker to have a child removed from a home in two weeks, but for a victim, this is an eternity. An eternity they know they may not make it through. For as long as victims have to go home--the law doesn't realize how many people walk right through restraining orders--this situation will go on and on . . . .
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Child abuse story from Marnie was re-formatted June 5, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life