
This child abuse story from Carmen was originally posted to my child abuse stories page on February 1, 2006
Carmen is from Denver, Colorado, USA
The following child abuse story from Carmen depicts physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse.
The child abuse effects on Carmen: self-hate and a very low self-esteem.
I am 42 years old. Growing up, unfortunately, I not only had to deal with physical and emotional abuse, but sexual abuse as well. Some of my very first memories are of being molested, but I didn't know that's what it was.
All my life I had been put down and kicked around, not only by my mother but my grandmother and my grandfather. I grew up feeling like I was an awful person. I had a very warped sense of love. At the age of 30, I finally sought therapy. I was told I was a miracle. I moved away from home at the age of 19, vowing never to return, which I haven't. Not to live anyway. According to my therapist, this is the very thing that saved my life. It took a lot of years and a lot of tears to learn that I had worth.
I'm better now, but there are days when it still hurts. There are so many people that believe you can just leave and move on with life. But those of us who have lived it know it's always with you. No matter where you go, who you're with, what you do, it's always there, it never goes away.
God has been my salvation. God has been there through everything and he has sustained me and lifted me up. He heard my cries and he sent me angels, and those angels have helped me to overcome and learn to live and love. They showed me what it felt like to be truly loved.
I have often thought about writing a book but don't know where to begin. I am what most people would consider a success story. I lived through it and am not on drugs, I don't drink much, I am not in an abusive relationship, I am not promiscuous, and I've learned to love myself. The hardest of all these was learning to love myself after being made to believe that I had no worth. I am hopeful for today and tomorrow and I have faith that my latter years will the most promising yet.