"Who are you to judge me? Who are you to say im ugly, worthless & a whore? Not even 5 months ago I was your baby, your princess, your everything. What's changed? I took your beatings like a man. I have more balls then you ever will or even could. I lay there in silence with tears running down my face as you took my pride with each punch to the face, with each kick to the gut. I repeated to myself, He loves me its going to be okay, but it never was. You were always sorry and say it will never happen again, but we both knew that was a lie. I remember covering every bruise and every lie, oh i ran into a door, or tripped. After a while i'd believe myself until the next beating. I remember the worst beating of all, we were at your house it was 11:13pm i was watching you play Halo all was great until you lost. I remember seeing you lose and my body tensed up, I was prepared. You took me by my hair kicking and screaming. You dragged me to your living room; you threw me on the ground then sat on me until i couldn?t breathe because i was choking. "I'm sorry baby, i love you, i'm a monster, and I'll get help it'll never happen again." I've heard it all before and i never believed it. Once you held me as i cried knowing it wasn't over. We went to bed and i saw that dreadful text I saw her name L---. I said things now i deeply regret. You slammed my head, my own blood got on the carpet, which was my biggest mistake. You kicked me so hard in my head that everything went black, after that i knew what was on your headboard and did what you had to do. Then threw me to the ground and spit on me & told me to lay with the dogs like the b***h i am. That night you took my life before me you degraded me that night. No lost the meaning of no. I remember your words "it's not rape if you're dating" i repeat that to myself everyday just to make it okay. The rest of that night you made me sit in the corner with nothing on. I sat there and watched you sleep. I hated that girl with all my heart. She knows exactly what she did and finds it funny, she has you. You treat her so right. I cry everyday saying that should be me. She is the girl you want, but why do this to me, You both kill me knowing what you did to people, Just say move on but how can i still love you. You call me crazy but i meant what i said when i said i love you. She has everything i worked so hard for. Where do I go now? You and I will always be unfinished business.
My boyfriend abused me for 3 years. Sexually, Emotionally and Physically. Now I am free, and you can be too.
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From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life
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