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Jan 29, 2016
Juliana:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Witnessing abuse, whether you actually see it or hear it or even if you're not there but know that's it's going on (like when at school, for instance) is a form of emotional abuse. The person hearing or seeing or knowing that one of their family members is being abused feels helpless and powerless to do anything about it. The cries coming from the person being abused can live with the "favourite" forever. In other words, witnessing abuse terrorizes a child, and has lifelong adverse affects. Scars run deep in those who witness abuse. Not to mention feelings of guilt for not being able to prevent the abuse and for not experiencing the same mistreatment as the abused child. It's a form of survivor's guilt.

It sounds as though your mother targeted your brother. There is no acceptable reason for her doing so, only explanations that may bring more light and understanding to a situation that doesn't and can never sit right. She should have been arrested and charged.

If your brother is still around and you have a relationship with him, and of course, if he's willing to talk openly about what he experienced at the hands of your abusive mother, it could be extraordinarily cathartic for both of you to discuss what went on. And how each of you felt and still feel. If you haven't already done this, there can be tremendous healing for both of you if you'll take the chance and allow that negative energy to be released through a powerful exchange of sharing.

I send both you and your brother love, light and healing energy, Juliana. Thank you for sharing both yours and your brother's story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Feb 28, 2017
Correction
by: Beth

Sorry Darlene, you mention in your comments that this sister and brother need to discuss their feelings. However, in the narration she says "He was soon taken away by the social workers. We don't get any updates or anything." Is there a way that she can find out where her brother is, or somehow initiate contact with him?

Feb 28, 2017
To Beth answering "Correction":
by: Darlene - Webmaster

Beth, by the time I was able to post Juliana's story about her brother, a significant amount of time had gone by since she had sent me the submission. That's why I replied as I did, just in case things had changed and she was in contact with him.

As for a way to find out where someone is when CPS takes them away, I'm not aware of any, short of doing something...well...we'll just say illegal. But nowadays, something exists that didn't when we were children: social media. Most kids are online somewhere, so it's probably a lot easier for family to get in touch. Sometimes that's not such a good thing, but sometimes it is.

Thank you for the feedback.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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