Miss My Brother

by Paul
(Location Undisclosed)

My brother is dead. He killed himself because he thought I was going to tell people. That's what I think anyway. I miss him. I missed him a lot. I never did tell anyone about my brother. Whether they would have believed me is obsolete now. I do not think I would have told anyone anyway. I am just annoyed he is gone.

I was 10 and he was 16, and while we probably hated each other, it was brother hate. So that probably meant we would do anything for each other, except admit it. He stopped some older boys from doing stuff to me, but then asked me to show him what they wanted. I said no, but he just forced himself into doing what he thinks they were going to do.

For 3 years, my brother would come into my bed, and for 3 years I did not do anything. At 16, I threatened my brother that I would tell. I was old enough and made him stop.

He slit his wrists the next day and died 3 days later. All the time my parents asking why. I kept quiet because it was my fault.

I do miss him as a brother. I love him as a brother. I hate him as a brother. Just wish he was still here.