Comments for Is There a Monster-Sexual Child-Abuser-in Your House?

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Mar 25, 2014
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You bring up some excellent points. Some issues that all parents must be responsible for. And while agree with nine of the ten points, the last one I do take exception to. It assumes that all men are at risk of sexually abusing their daughters. This just isn't so. The vast majority of fathers are loving and appropriate with their daughters (and sons).

Number 9 also implies, perhaps inadvertently, two things. One, that only girls get sexually abused. Statistics show that 1 in 6 males are sexually abused before they turn 18. Studies are beginning to show that the number may well be equal to that of girls: 1 in 4. And two, that only males offend. The fact is, women can and do sexually abuse children. But the abuse is often hidden under the guise of what women are typically responsible for. Women are the caregivers, the ones who give birth, the ones with the primary role of feeding and nurturing. And society cannot wrap its collective mind around the possibility that the caregivers and nurturers are capable of such heinous acts. Sexual abuse at the hands of a mother tears at the fabric of who we are as a society. But mothers--women--are capable of such acts.

The answer lies in your last sentence; keeping the lines of communication open with your children. We must empower children. And that starts with teaching them they have the right to their own bodies. That no one has the right to lay a hand on them.

Thank you, Catherine, for sharing your perspective with my visitors and me. I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Mar 26, 2014
by: Scot 1


Not to be rude, but this stereotypical attitude is exactly the barrier keeping assaults on males by females hidden under the carpet. Its an insult each time I read this one sided dogmatic view.

Simply replace each instance of male used in the above with female and you would be explaining the proper and appropriate safeguard attitudes to keeping kids safe from women. Replacing all instances of men in the above with women would have then protected me as a child. But because women aren't viewed as offenders they don't even get mentioned in the news. Try it, look up female pedophiles in news and see the results.

It insults boys molested and tortured by women. Its really sad that the same attitudes that allowed us boys to become "offended" by women, have remained unchanged and unchallenged for decades where as the paranoia toward men has reached a fever hysteria to the point all men are looked at with intense suspicion. Guilt until proven otherwise and preventative measure are where men live. Now add that to a man who was assaulted by the protected women and see how it stings. We are not mold under a rock.

Woman can be offenders to be treated with MORE suspicion then men because they have greater immunity, access, and opportunity and trust. Without question a woman is asked to watch over children.

From Darlene Barriere - Webmaster: And that is exactly why my comments reflect what they do, Scot 1.

Mar 27, 2014
by: Anonymous

you know the concern I have with this article is that it seems to me that it subtly sets the scene for someone other than the perpetrator to take the blame when something bad occurs.

This line in particular "This means that we have to take full responsibility for the following"

The perpetrator is the one who has to take full responsibility. Actually the more I think about it the less I like that phrase. Not only does the perpetrator have to take absolutely full responsibility but neither the child nor the parent should be even getting in that "full responsibility" mind set. I know that that mind set and wording are popular these days but I think it has lead to over protection of kids.

Perhaps we should actually make sure that we hug our kids and if something bad happens to them then make sure they know we will support them.

The next thing I think is that we should not use words like monster because as I understand it, in many cases the perpetrator is a friendly person. The next thing is that as I understand it the perpetrator is most likely to be someone known to and loved by the child. Setting them up as a "monster" in my view is unhelpful to both the child and the perpetrator.

To me they are weak, immoral, wrong and words like that.

Anyway those are my thoughts. Thanks for listening.

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