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Apr 26, 2008
Sibling abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm very sorry to learn that you are dealing with such a difficult situation within your family. When an older sibling is mistreating a younger more vulnerable one, the entire family is dealing with it.

I recommend family counselling, Anni. It may be necessary to arrange for individual counselling for each of the boys: The older one, in order to determine why he feels the need to bully, and to help him find appropriate outlets for his anger; the younger, in order to help him with the emotional residue of having been bullied. But the whole family needs help with what is going on here.

I urge you to contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you as a parent. They can also help you with options.

I wish you and your family all the best, Anni.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 28, 2008
Sibling abuse
by: Hayley

Hi Anni. I read your post about your older son making things tough for your younger son. That must be hard to stomach. Unfortunately my brother set about hurting me in that way after he was allowed "home" following my reluctantly dropping a case against him. My dad witnessed most of what happened but it was always me that suffered. My brother seemed to be the golden boy, and even now I am sometimes rather sarcastic and scathing about him. I am with Darlene on this one, it could be more like bullying/harassment either way it must be upsetting for your youngest to deal with, and for you to see happening. I don't know how best to advise you on this one as I am not a parent (only to 12/13 teddy bears if that counts). However I have a gorgeous three year old niece who I adore and would do anything for - including cause serious injury to anyone I caught even looking at that little girl in the wrong way provided they weren't smaller than myself.

I suppose you could talk to the boys seperately and find out what is happening from them both and take action from there. Other than that I really don't know.

Good luck

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