Coping Attempt 1000001

by Cassie

I am glad that when I grew up I had family around me, even if some weren’t always pleasant to be around. Some didn’t understand any of my issues and I was told all of the time to simply get over it and shut up. It’s like saying, hey you have cancer but just get over it already!

I am glad that my parents got a divorce. They literally couldn’t do anything without fighting. When you go to a restaurant and everybody is looking at them fighting loudly, it makes it embarrassing to be with them. Plus, it allowed my dad to raise me, and normally dads don't have the relationship with their kids like I had.

I was taught to work for what I wanted. Since I wanted a lot of things, I started working at 16 to buy what I wanted, and well, to get out of the house. I bought everything I wanted and needed including any food, and any and all of my essentials. I bought a game system and a tv so I wouldn’t have to deal with unpleasant people to be around, but that was short lived before it got taken away.

I am glad that my dad remarried so he could have someone to lean on while raising all us kids. It turned into 5 kids under one roof which can get pretty hectic!

I am glad that my step mom took all of her anger out on me instead of taking it out on my dad. He didn’t have time for that. I am happy that I spent most of my time growing up grounded, it was probably a safe place to be! She also taught me that she was always there for me watching every move, so don't have a private conversation with your mom on the phone because you will get grounded!

I am glad that my mom and I had a closer than ever relationship before she passed, and that she was able to become a grandma, which surprisingly she was super excited about. I am happy that we had a pretty open relationship where she would tell me which things were lies and which things were true with what I had been told about her. She reassured me multiple times that she didn’t trade me for her horses! I wish I could take back the hard times we had throughout my childhood, though. I am glad I learned people don't live forever, so make the time spent with them memorable and treasure it!

I am glad that I learned that I want to live life and that I don’t want die. I might have thoughts that tell me otherwise, but I know that they will pass in time. When listening to them it could become a bad outcome, like taking a couple of bottles of antidepressants is a very bad idea and made death seem so real.

I am glad that I am a type of person that can be there for someone in their condolences, even if I didn’t like the person they are grieving over.

I am glad that I was put up to challenges when I grew up, and that if family told me I couldn’t do better, or would never go anywhere in life... I made it a challenge and tried to prove them wrong instead of living up to their expectations.

I am glad that I was warned as a kid on what can happen to vulnerable kids when sick-minded adults are around. The two sickos have taught me a lot in life, but mostly made me more cautious with my kids and who they are around and what they do. It also has made me more aware of having a very open relationship with my kids and reassuring them they can tell me anything and everything!

I am glad that I learned at a young age what can happen when you get drunk at a party with a bunch of people and guys you don't know very well. It taught me to be more cautious, and if I were going to drink then I was going to drink with only girls, or a small group of friends. I hope my kids grow up liking to party around me, because that is going to be their only option.

I am glad that I met my soulmate in life, it was like joining the marines at first. They bring you down and build you back up. Except the building up didn’t happen until I left. I am glad he will think twice before he ever threatens my life, says another negative thing to me, or lays a hand on me again. With the changes that we have made though, makes me believe that any relationship can conquer anything that comes their way together, if they really want to!

I am glad that I was taught at a young age what happens when you open up to someone. Most of them leave you behind or they tell a loved one and you get punished by watching them get hurt by your actions or by what you said. You become an outcast for life the minute anyone knows anything about you. Keep your mouth shut and your emotions inside if you want anyone to stand by your side, and if you don’t want to hurt anyone.

I am happy for the moment I had kids. They gave me something to live for! I will do anything to give them a better life than what ever I had! Even with the issues that they were born with, I teach them that they are no different than any other child their age! I will strive to make sure that they have a great childhood and one that doesn't affect their adulthood!

I am glad at last that with all of my experiences in life so far. I have been able to build myself a pretty strong backbone... but I am also happy that I don’t have to use it very often.

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