Comments for Child Abuse Story from Yvonne

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Oct 21, 2008
Part 1: The Teachers WERE inflicting abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Yvonne, what The Teachers in that daycare did to you would be considered emotional abuse. They didn't only reject you, leaving you to question your self worth, they taught the other children to reject you as well. They used "time outs" inappropriately. When used appropriately, time out is an opportunity for a child to settle down without stimulation. The purpose behind time out is to either eliminate, or at the very least limit, the outside stimulus of the child so that s/he can become still and quiet; generally, one minute for each year of the child's age. Once the child has settled, then it is up to the caregiver to sit down with the child and use age appropriate language to identify the lesson that needs to be learned (I've had to be brief in the interest of space; there is much more that can be added to this). The Teachers were using time out punitively, as a means to get you to conform (rather than recognize that you had the right to NOT eat the nasty food put in front of you), they used time out to shame, degrade and terrorize you. Of course you'd be left with adverse affects.

What your mother did to ensure your safety in the daycare was exactly what she needed to do...I applaud her for taking you away from that mistreatment!

Don't be so hard on yourself for not telling your parents, Yvonne. What you must remember is that you were a little girl. When you question your inability to tell at that time, you are applying more mature values on things you did and did not do as that vulnerable little girl. That's why we have parents; to ensure our best interests are being taken care of, because we can't look out for those interests ourselves when we are children.

Yvonne, I used to be a daycare provider; trust me when I tell you that your behaviour was not in any way "bad". Not even close! Your behaviour was what I would expect from every 3- or 4-year-old child. It was The Teachers' behaviour that was "bad" and unacceptable. You, my dear, were simply being a little girl.

I'm running out of space here, Yvonne; therefore, see Part 2: Continued... below for the remainder of my comments.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Oct 21, 2008
Part 2: Continued...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You'll note I haven't addressed the issue of bullying here, Yvonne. That's because I'm not in a position to cross that threshold within the space of this website.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. Doing so has clearly shown how important it is for parents to be aware of what is happening with their children in daycare settings.

As for Part 2 of your story, I will post it within a couple of days, but not as a child abuse story; rather, as a commentary. I have a very specific reason for doing this, which I will include as an opening notation.

In the meantime, I strongly urge you to get some form of counselling for what you are still dealing with. If you are still a minor, talk to your parents about some options. You are definitely worth getting help for yourself.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Oct 22, 2008
I know the feeling
by: Anonymous

When I was in grade 3 my teacher used to get us up in front of class and humiliate us individually. It is something that has stuck in my mind, it still makes me feel embarrassed to think about it. I had many more problems in my childhood but this added to it. Its an awful feeling. I hope you find some way to resolve the memories.

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