Comments for Child Abuse Story From Nyla

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 05, 2008
Yes, it WAS abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You were neglected, Nyla. Your parents did not provide you with the basic needs that was their job to provide. That translates to child abuse.

What's even more disturbing is that your father would beat you over a teacher pointing out that your needs weren't being met. He physically abused you. I can't imagine what was going on in his head, or your mother's.

Nyla, you were made to feel worthless and not good enough to be cared for. Your parents ignored your needs; ignoring is a form of emotional abuse. But just for the record, emotional abuse is always present when other forms of abuse are evident. Your parents' neglect and emotional abuse set you up for bullying and made you an outcast.

And a second point for the record: You weren't feeling sorry for yourself. Wanting to feel special and pretty and as though you belonged was perfectly normal. It was your birthright, a right EVERY child should have. I find it particularly heartbreaking that you were so badly neglected, so made to feel like trash, that a simple ribbon in your hair would have elevated your self-esteem to levels you should have always had!

As for others having it worse; hell is hell, Nyla. You were living in hell. Don't minimize what happened to you.

I hope you know how exceptional you are. I hope you know that you are lovely and lovable. I hope you know that your parents didn't deserve to have such a wonderful little girl to call their own. I hope you know all that, Nyla, because all of it is true.

You are NOT "the stinky girl." You are the special, unique and outstanding girl. Counselling may help you to start believing this yourself, Nyla. If you haven't already, I urge you seek out some form of therapy to help you with the emotional residue of being so neglected. You are definitely worth it.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir


Feb 05, 2008
I am sorry
by: Alison Lord

I think any one who is willing to hurt there child is afraid of what really might happen to them if they dont they are afriad and they want control. I went through a lot of the same thing with my father and older brother.

Feb 05, 2008
Cruel, Selfish Parents
by: Francine

Your selfish parents should be ashamed! If I were your sister, I'd teach you to take baths/showers, brush your hair and even make you wear clean, different clothes to school every day cuz you don't ever deserve to go to school with same clothes on everyday! I'm so sorry!

Feb 06, 2008
omg
by: Anonymous

i feel so sowi for you good look in later life hunnie x.x.x.x.x..xx..x.xx.x.x.x..x

Feb 06, 2008
Most definitely
by: Anonymous

What happened to you was, without a doubt, abuse. You should never think that you were simply being melodramatic about it. What happened to you never should happen to anyone, no matter who they are or what they've done, said, or thought. There probably is someone, somewhere, who has it even worse off than you did, which just goes to show the horrific reality that is child abuse.

Feb 07, 2008
Ego boost for Nyla
by: Elaine

Nyla... a word from someone who can empathise! Trust your instincts! If you feel sorry for yourself, it's usually for a good reason.

As we grow up, we all have expectations about our lives, many of which are very similar. I'll bet that everyone wants and expects to be loved and cared for by their family; and that everyone expects to have some friends in life. Most girls, like you and me, also grow up wanting to feel pretty, and popular. They look forward to getting into College, or getting a good job, or getting married... Everyone has hopes and dreams...

It's sad that abuse can crush these dreams so easily. It doesn't seem to matter what kind of abuse, the effect is generally the same. Abuse results in someone being made to feel useless, worthless, unhappy and unloved. My own parents were abusive, and I know just how painful and upsetting it can be. I know as well that it can lead to you being bullied at school - I got picked on too, because people thought my family were "weird". That can make you feel so embarrassed...

It sounds to me like your parents were neglectful, and failed to meet your basic needs. There are many reasons why this could have happened, but none are your fault, and none are an excuse for it being wrong. And it makes no difference whether other people had it better, or worse, than you. At the end of the day, you were still made to feel bad.

Well, remember, you aren't that child at school for ever; and you can begin to make changes. Try learning slowly to spend a little time on yourself, perhaps to listen to a favourite tune, take a relaxing bath (it's even nicer if you use essential oils and light candles!), treat yourself occasionally to a pretty dress... Don't overdo it... Just enough to give you that sense of feeling worthwhile. If things are still really bad, try talking them through with someone you can trust.

You are worthwhile. Go for it girl!!

Feb 07, 2008
WE ARE KINDRED SPIRITS
by: Linda

I can understand your pain. You had parents like mine. They are to blame, not us, we were innocent children.I am fifty-one years old and trying to come to terms with my past neglect and abuse. Logging on to this website, and reading other persons stories has made want to seek help.I would like to read more of your story. It is like seeing myself through someone else's eyes. I know you will overcome your past abuse in time. Remember this: Mean people put other people down because of their own lack of self-esteem. Hang in there sweetheart.

Feb 19, 2008
your unique
by: singlemom

one day at a time learn to let go of your hurts. try to forgive those who made the hurt, they were raised by ignorant people. im thirty and barely learning to love the way i look. i learned that you have to dress the way you want to feel. if the clothes your wearing dont make you feel beautiful get rid of them, even if you have to get others from a thrift store. i do and i find good stuff...ROXY,LEVIS ETC. start making your self first. your number one and special dont let any one tell you different.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Write Your Child Abuse Story.

Return to Child Abuse Story From Nyla

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.



E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...

Most Recent

  1. The reasons I've been absent

    Nov 14, 17 01:30 PM

    It's been another challenging time for me. As I actively work toward an online program for survivors of sexual abuse, I've also had to deal with issues at home. Hubby has been diagnosed with 2 types o…

    Read More

  2. I Self Medicate

    Jun 26, 17 04:40 PM

    When I was 3 we left Illinois for Arizona. The day we left my grandfather had a heart attack and died. I have one uncomfortable grainy memory of him. I

    Read More

  3. Ongoing Abuse

    Jun 06, 17 03:03 PM

    I'm 15/16. I am still getting abused physically, mentally and verbally by my family especially my mother. I don't understand what to do to overcome this.

    Read More

E-book: Victim To Victory

From Victim to Victory
a memoir

How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

Read more...