Comments for Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed7

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Aug 18, 2008
It IS child abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

When a parent rejects a child with such dreadful name-calling as you're a "screw up" or "no good" or "good-for-nothing"; when a parent tells a child "I want to give you up for adoption"; when a divorced parent angrily and maliciously says "you're just like your father"; when a parent tells a child "I don't like you. The only reason I love you is because I have to"; this IS child abuse, emotional child abuse, in particular rejecting. When a parent threatens to beat a child or "kill" a child in order to get them to comply, it is a form of terrorizing. So to answer the question that is foremost on your mind, yes, your mother is abusing you, emotionally and physically.

Your mother has some very serious problems that she needs help for. And you need help too. You are NOT any of the cruel things your mother calls you. What you are is beautiful and articulate and smart and lovable and worthy. You have a flair for writing in poetic elegance, even with the most disturbing of topics: child abuse. I sense you connect deeply with the written word and you find meaning in verse. This is a gift; use it to your benefit. Use it to write of what you feel. Use it to help surface the emotions buried deep within you. But don't be alone with it. Don't allow yourself to enter into a dark place with it. Find someone to talk to. Find someone who will listen to you and hear what you have to say. Someone you trust: a teacher, a counsellor at school, a friend's mother, an elder or pastor at your church. Contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. You deserve so much better than what you are living with. But YOU have to believe that. YOU have to give yourself the respect you don't get from your mother. YOU have to get help for yourself. From the very little bit you wrote, I see such a special and gifted person. Your mother is too full of rage and hostility and whatever it is that comes from her background to see this. Don't let that stop YOU from recognizing the truth for yourself. The first step was in shouting it out here. There's no doubt, it's time to take the next step: TELL someone.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 18, 2008
your story
by: Anonymous

hi i understand wut your going through cuz i went through the same thing with my father. he emotionally abused myself znd my brother for years and im 16 now. your mother does love you but is afraid to show it thats why she keeps you around.

***Email address deleted by Darlene Barriere - Webmaster***

Note to Anonymous from Darlene: Email addresses and other personal identifiable information is strictly prohibited on this site. I've imposed this rule in order to keep my visitors safe, a responsibility I take very seriously. I thank you for your understanding.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 18, 2008
You're not alone
by: Andrew Richards

I went through 20 years of the exact same thing growing up (I posted my story on here about a month ago).

Darlene is dead right- you're being abused. The sad fact of the matter is that there are many people in society who'll tell you otherwise and even treat you badly for simply being a male victim. I mean look at what you said yourself- you're being abused but you don't even recognise if it's really there. I was the same growing up. Sadly it's the way society is right now for both male victims and emotional abuse sufferers.

Be prepared that some people over the years might never "get it" or how it affects you. But that said the people who will and do matter, will completely understand and be completely supportive!

Also, if you approach a professional about this (maybe your school counsellor if you have one). They'll be supportive and moreover, they'll take action.

Most of all, know you're not alone, others on here have been through the same thing and know that veiled hell all too well! You need to tell someone though- the longer you leave it, the more painful the scars will get! She's your mother and I have no doubt that you love her, but right now, she's got some serious problems and they're clouding her perspective. If she could really see what was going on and it was someone else doing it, I have no doubt that she'd be the one making the call to someone. One day hopefully she'll see, just as my family have recently done.

In terms of doing something, it's upto you I'm afraid, but as hard as it will be, you'll be doing the right thing by telling someone.

As I said though, you're not alone here and others know what it's like! Most of all know that when the time comes to face those emotions, it'll be an incredibly brave choice and don't let clueless idiots try and tell you otherwise.

Nov 09, 2008
Honey...PLEASE READ!!!
by: Anonymous

I'm sure she loves you but I'm almost postive she's not sure how to handle situations! Parenting is EXTEMELY hard at times, which gives her NO RIGHT to treat u the way she has!! She's probably doing what she was taught!!! I HATE to say this but you should find someone that will set her straight..........either she gets SERIOUS help or loses you!!! Please DO NOT EVER blame yourself sweety!!!

Note from Darlene: Anonymous, you want to help the person who wrote this story (Undisclosed7); of that I have no doubt. I must tell you that I have a strict policy on this site that does not permit the inclusion of personal information such as email addresses. This is to ensure the safety of my visitors, as well as that of my contributors. I ask that you please refrain from including your email address when you leave comments. I thank you for your understanding.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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