Comments for Child abuse Story From Jessie

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Nov 23, 2008
You deserve SO much more in your life than just hatred...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Jessie, you've earned that hatred against both your father and your mother; of that I have no doubt. Your father was a twisted and perverted excuse for a man; any man who beats and rapes a woman is a coward; any man who beats and rapes a child is sick and warped and doesn't deserve to be a free member of the human race. Witnessing family violence is a form of emotional abuse, Jessie: it's called terrorizing. As a child, witnessing spousal abuse at the hands of your father put you in a position of powerlessness and helplessness. You also carried blame for not doing anything about it. Indeed, you still carry that blame, blame you have NO responsibility for whatsoever! You are applying adult values to situations that you had virtually no control over in your childhood. Consider this, Jessie: Would you expect a young child of yours to be responsible for acts committed by an adult? Would you expect a 5-year-old of yours to do something about such abuse committed by a grown up? I doubt it. So apply that same understanding to yourself, because you were NOT to blame. Period. End of story. No question about it.

Jessie, your mother abandoned and neglected you, both while she was still in your home and after she physically left. Yes, your father was responsible for the abuse he inflicted on your mother. What you need to remember is that your mother was an adult; she was your mother, and as your mother she owed it to you to protect you and keep you safe from harm. She was incapable of keeping herself safe from harm for whatever reason (there's way too much to go into detail here within the confines of this limited space), but she had a duty as your mother to remove herself from the situation with you in tow! The fact that she told you that all was "ok" and that "Mommies and Daddies did this a lot was to further expose you to an extreme form of emotional abuse. And then to physically leave without you was abandonment and betrayal of the most horrible kind. The residue of that—as it relates to your mother—is what you're trying to cope with now.

As I said above, you earned the hatred. Now it's time to deal with the emotional residue of such a heinously abusive childhood, Jessie; because if you don't, that hatred will consume you and every aspect of your life. You don't deserve to live a life full of hatred, resentment and anger. You deserve so much more than that. I do hope you'll consider some form of counselling to help you with all this turmoil; my god, you're worth so much more than that.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Nov 23, 2008
sorry
by: Anonymous

Jessie,

I am so sorry for what you went through. thank you for sharing your story. i hope that you will begin to heal and that you will find beauty in life and eventually love. it is hard to be married, have kids, do normal things when you have been hurt so badly. None of it was your fault. It was awful of both your mother and your father. I know that nothing I say will help, but I want you to know that you are NOT alone, and that there are good people who have come from horrible backgrounds. There are also so many hurting because of what they have been through or are going through. We have to help them. Take care of you. Find the things in life that you really enjoy. It will take time, a stolen childhood means to me that you have so much catching up to do as an adult. You really don't know who you are. It takes a long time. I am twenty two years out of the abuse that I suffered, trying to raise four kids, and be a wife. I say trying because I tend to block my life out still, and fake living. I need to learn to really live, to love myself, and to find happiness. I know that what advice I could give you I should be trying myself, hey, it seems unbearable, but I have made it so far. Please get any help you need. Much of the system is broken. That is why we need to heal and then take it over, so that real survivors are the ones helping todays victims. love to you. ♥♥♥

Nov 25, 2008
wow. horrible
by: kristen

Dear Jessie,

Your life sounded horrible. I am so sorry that you had to endure that.

kristen

Nov 26, 2008
SO COOL!!!
by: Red

That is a happy ending,I tell you.That's the best happy ending.

Jan 31, 2009
thankyou
by: Anonymous

thankyou for sharing your story, after reading your story i decided to give mine, thankyou for giing me the confidence to do so!!
you are a truely amazing person and strong, i wish i could be that strong.
thankyou again
xox

Apr 29, 2009
Im with you...
by: Angel

Dear Jessie,

There are many reason why people things makes negatives. I just hope you release those hatred in your heart .... and let the God enter in to your heart.... Dont blame your parents as they do not know what they are doing... perhaps its the spirit of their past parents or ancestors .... All, i can say move on with your life with your little sister ... and be happy. Take care and dont worry someone loves you....

Angel

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