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May 05, 2009
Part 1: Emotional and physical abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Jane, what's happening in your home IS terrifying. You're both experiencing and witnessing abuse. Your parents are troubled; they've somehow lost control and don't know how to deal with the challenges of adolescent behaviour without resorting to violence.

You already know you don't deserve to be mistreated. You don't believe the lies your parents are saying about you. I commend you for that understanding, Jane; it shows me you have great strength. Only with great strength can a child or youth who is being abused be able to see beyond the lies. What I want to point out to you is that even with that knowledge, you are thinking about mistreating yourself by cutting and making yourself vomit. I know why you're considering this: The pain of doing these things is far better than dealing with the pain of what you are dealing with right now in your home. You may also believe that such acts might result in changes; they rarely do, Jane, they rarely do. And when they do, the changes are not desirable for the child or youth.

When parents mistreat their children, those children often go on to mistreat themselves and others. But you can make a choice, Jane. You can choose NOT to follow in their footsteps. You can choose to treat yourself better than your parents do. Start treating yourself with the dignity and respect you deserve, dignity and respect your parents don't know how to give. You ARE worthy and lovable. Your sister is worthy and lovable.

You also know that being rude results in terrible consequences, so I implore you to not be rude. That's not to say your parents have the right to strike you in the face and kick you; they don't. We have laws against such so-called "disciplinary" practices. What I'm saying is that you must protect yourself; and part of that protection is making sure you don't do anything that might aggravate the situation. Even when that "aggravation" seems justified. This is about keeping you safe.

See Part 2: Some numbers to call... below.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 05, 2009
Part 2: Some numbers to call...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Jane, I urge you to contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. Another resource is Kids Helpline in Canada at 1-800-668-6868. They are staffed with professionally trained counsellors who will help you with your options. You can remain anonymous.

I know you're anxious and worried, Jane, but jumping from a moving vehicle could result in serious injury, or worse. Please don't consider such a desperate act. Call one of the numbers above. The first one is for both the USA and Canada; the second for Canada only. They are there to help you, but they can only help you if you reach out to them. You and your sister are too precious NOT to reach out.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 05, 2009
Why do some women have children who don't want to be mothers.
by: Maurice

Jane, the fear inbedded into you by your mothers behaviour is totally unbecoming of a mother for a child. She needs loads of help herself. This does not condone what she has done to you and your sister. Jane find someone to LOVE you, Someone to HUG you, someone to soothe away the hurts and pain of fear from your tensed up little body with the fear your mother wrongly put in you. Abuse,Abuse that is all you have grown up with Jane. No child deserves to be treated in such a fashion. Please read Darlene's womanly insticts and heed her caring/loving words to you. She is your helper/healer. But as she advises you must get help. You must tell someone. You be brave and strong with the help of your special friends whom you trust and go and get that help. Your Mother damaged you, don't you go off and damage yourself. Say, I'M SPECIAL MAKE IT YOUR CATCH PRASE AND YOU'LL KNOW AND BELIEVE THAT YOU TRULY ARE A VERY SPECIAL CHILD IN YOUR OWN RIGHT. NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU JANE.

May 05, 2009
Parents
by: Francine

Jane, your parents are wrong; you are not stupid; you are not dumb; you are not fat (and neither is your sister Jessica). Both you you girls are smart, articulate and worthy of love and respect that both of you were so callously denied of. Your parents are twisted in their own ways of thinking. I'm sorry what you and Jessica were forced to go through. I went through the same thing and my parents, like yours, always thought of it as discipline. Well, Our parents really need to think again cuz what they did is NOT and NEVER WILL be discipline; it is ONLY ABUSE. No less. Remember, you and Jessica have done NOTHING WRONG. Both of you might want to tell someone. You and Jessica can always tell a teacher, church member, priest, police officer, principal, school counsellor, just pick a trusted adult.

May 06, 2009
Oops!
by: Francine

Oops, I actually meant, "Your parents are twisted in their own ways of thinking."

From Darlene: Francine, I've gone in and made the correction for you. And just so you know, there have been plenty of times where I've written the exact opposite of what I've meant to say within the comments; and then had to go back to correct myself. I'm sure Jane understood what you meant to say. I know I did.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir



Mar 06, 2013
Seriously, get out of that house!
by: Anonymous

Please try to get out of that house as soon as you can, Jane; you and your sister have suffered enough. Your parents are mentally ill. As soon as you and your sister get away from them, your healing can start in earnest.

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