Comments for Child Abuse Story From Jane B

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Dec 01, 2009
Emotional abuse and witnessing IS "very bad"...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Jane, you (and your brothers) suffered severe emotional abuse. Your father was a tyrant, probably handed down to him through his own childhood, which might explain (not excuse) his own personal failures and the way he chose to discipline by terrorizing. It comes as no surprise that your brothers have paid a lifelong price for that terror. Witnessing abuse leaves lifelong scars, Jane. You've described perfectly what every child who witnesses such terrifying abuse goes through. Just know that you couldn't have done anything to protect your brothers. Your father was the adult, you and your brothers were the children. HE had all the power; and he misused that power. The anger you feel toward your mother is understandable. I suggest counselling to help you through all the turmoil. It certainly helped me when I was blaming myself for those times I did not step in to stop the abuse my parents doled out to my siblings. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 01, 2009
Don't know how
by: Ginny

Jane
I understand because my childhood was very similar to yours with me at the time being the only girl with 8 brothers and a father that was in pain.

Jane there is no excuse for abuse ,but a person who abuses was abused themselves. my father was abused mentally and physcially by the hands of his mother. My father physcially abused his children. There is something lacking most abusers not all have never heard the word love from their own parents. I realize growing up my father was in a lot of pain the drinking was a coping mechanism.

Jane I know how difficult it is to try and remain focued and positive through it all but it can be done. Jane find something that brings you joy whenever you feel down it could be a song or anything that once made you happy.

Dec 10, 2009
You deserve the highest admiration and respect
by: maurice

Oh Jane B, you are truly a very special, thoughtful, caring, kind, understaning child of God and child of the Universe. Your story brought anger out in me as I read through it. That Monster of bullies over innocent children (your brothers) He does not deserve the name of having fathered his beautiful children. He was just down right ignorant, self centred egoistic Male with the name of Father. It is possible he was abused similiarly but he has intelligence. No excuses what-so-ever for how he emotionally treated your innnocent scared siblings. You are not to blame, you wished yourself to help them but you were not heard or respected when you tried. Your consolation is that you wanted to love your brothers and save them from this giant of a brute with the name of your father. Darlene's heartfelt words to you in her Comment, empowering words, please take heed of them. Ginny's heart is with you in her encouraging words and I hope mine added to both will give you hope and belief in yourself. Always believe in yourself, have your special friends to walk with you, live well, laugh alot, love much. Have a friend outside your natural/normal boy girl relationships who will always be there for you. to listen, cuddle, hug you make you always feel needed and wanted. We all need this type of friend. Where possible get counselling. Look in the Mirror the longer the better so you can see that beautiful me person in it. Think positive thoughts, say positive thngs about that person who is looking out at you. I am beautiful, I am special, I have a lovely etc. be gentle and kind to it. soothe it, caress it, hug it, Hi this ain't silly asking, you'll feel all the better once you do it. You'll be fine, live your life to the full each day you wake up. you owe it to yourself. There is life after abuse. have it for yourself first then you will have it for your brothers and others.

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