Comments for Child Abuse Story From Heather1

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Mar 28, 2009
This is about rejection and abandonment...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Heather, whether or not you were sexually abused, I cannot say. And neither can your friend. If you have no memory of such abuse, it may not have happened at all. However, it is quite understandable that you don't trust men based solely on the rejection and abandonment of both your father and stepfather; that is the ultimate in emotional abuse. Neither of them have been there for you. Both of them left you confused. Both of them taught you they weren't trustworthy. You titled this story yourself: "Broken-Hearted Again."

You see, Heather, the greatest role model in your life when it comes to feelings about the opposite sex is the parent of the opposite sex: namely, your father or other male figure in your life. After what you've experienced with these men, it's really no wonder that you find it difficult to open up to a male. Wanting to "deck" your principal was in a way wanting to deck your father and/or stepfather. It's these feelings that you need help with, Heather; not all men are like your father and stepfather.

If there is a trusted teacher or counsellor at school, in your case, preferably a female at this point, then I strongly recommend you talk to her. Another valuable resource is Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. And right now, you desperately need someone to listen to you, Heather. Cutting yourself is a way to cope with emotional pain that is just too much to bear. But by cutting yourself, you're rejecting yourself, dear. And you do not deserve to be rejected. You deserve love and caring and nurturing and dignity and respect. The fact that you have to deal with this now, at such a young age, is so unfair. But to continue to disfigure your precious body—the only body you have—is equally unfair. You ARE loveable, Heather. You ARE worthy. And you ARE precious. Treat yourself with the dignity and respect that you deserve.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 31, 2009
my heart goes out to you
by: Maurice

Whether it happens in a family down the road from or in your case rejection by people who should be loving, caring human beings to you, building you up instead of degrading and humiliating you. Step fathers or second relationships are the most difficult to comprehend. The amount of young people I had to give hope to because they ended up similiar to yourself heather is horrendous. I remember at school my dean would sometimes lecture me maybe for an hour making me feel very small, bold, good for nothing, no hope for me. That heather effected me far worse than the beating on my bare bottom which he gave me. The beating sore, degrading and all that was over in minutes being put in my place with negative words of correction lasted much longer and now I have to work hard at respecting people in Authority. So Heather your mental abuse I can emphatise with,Hi with Bubu, and your sisters friend you can make life worth living for you. Get out of that Room, mix with people your own age, get involved doing things for others. Begin to rid yourself of self pity because that will drag you down and more into yourself. Open up your mind to others. Your step father and mother are only two people who are cruel to you in their mental treatment of you. Heather show them that you are one very special human being in your very own right. Rid yourself of hating people, that won't help you at all. Put LOVE back into your thinking, being and doing. begin with Loving yourself, Bubu will lead you to do that. Respect yourself and tell yourself There's no way I am the tragic person my step father is saying I am. Always believe in yourself.

Jan 12, 2010
Situation Alike
by: Anonymous

I had a father that didn't care for me either.
I know from experience cutting is not the answer anymore, sometimes it feels better than thinking about your situation, I know. But I went way to far once and cut into the muscle of my arm. I'm not sure if you have thought about anything different that you could do instead of that. I have to say im 14 and still to this day i often think about it, but I try and do something else and push it from my mind. I never had sexual abuse or anything like that, but I had a father that really did not like me and would take all his anger out through emotional and even sometimes physical abuse. I'm really not sure if this is helping at all but know that i'll be praying for you. ( and im not even an extremely religious person) haha
hope maybe this will get better for you. It takes quite a while but eventually you find the light.

Feb 25, 2013
Cutting recovery
by: BMW Princess

I am also a recovering cutting addict.
I find that eating crushed chillies help mewith the urge to cut. It replaces the pain with something safe. I even have crushed chillis on oatmeal in the morning:)

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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