Comments for Child Abuse Story From CD

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Aug 25, 2008
DEFINITELY child abuse...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Brent, you are NOT worthless. You are NOT pathetic. You are NOT useless. What you ARE is WORTHY and LOVABLE and SMART and much much STRONGER than you think. After all, you've survived the beatings and the choking and the terrorizing.

Yes, you've had the repercussions to deal with—sleeplessness, low self confidence, fear of raised voices—but who wouldn't have had those effects under the same circumstances. Give yourself a break. Stop telling yourself the same ridiculous messages—LIES—that Shaun, a twisted, disturbed and criminally abusive excuse for a man cast on you in order to make himself feel superior. REAL men aren't like Shaun. You're the strong one, Brent. Just because you're not physically strong enough to stop him doesn't make you weak; it makes you vulnerable. But as I stated above, you are an amazingly strong person inside. I know this, Brent, because when I was a young teen, I felt as you do now. And I certainly didn't believe that I had any internal strength; not during those years. I thought I was pathetic and useless and ugly and stupid and unlovable; all the messages that my mother had ingrained in me. Then, in my twenties, when I was seeing a therapist, I learned that I had taken the torch from my mother and continued to berate myself in exactly the same way she had. My therapist made me realize how strong I was to have survived all the physical and emotional abuse I was forced to endure. I see you in EXACTLY the same light, Brent.

You say Shaun is no longer in the home and that you can't talk to him. I believe that's a good thing. You need some time to heal, time away from him. I am concerned that your mother didn't act sooner to ensure you and your sister stayed safe. Her judgment is severely lacking; but that's on her Brent, not on you. I can certainly understand your feelings of betrayal and abandonment: you feel as though she chose Shaun over you and your sister. And even now, you probably wonder if she'll 'forgive' his behaviour and invite him back into the home. So on top of those other feelings, you also have trust issues. Totally understandable.

I'm glad that writing your story on my site has given you the opportunity to get it "off your chest." But I think you need more than that. You need to talk to someone about all this, Brent, someone who can help you deal with the emotions trapped inside of you. Consider contacting ChildLine on 0800 1111. Check out their website at www.donthideit.com. You're worth getting help for yourself. You really are.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Aug 25, 2008
Wrong
by: Helper

You aren't worthless. Its the man that hurt you that is worthless. You should've been able to lead a normal life but you couln't because of him. Yes, yours may not be the worst story here but its still horrible.

Aug 26, 2008
It does get better
by: Andrew Richards

Brent, I know your pain, your demons all too well. I went through a very similar thing (minus the physical abuse) which started from the age of 6 and lasted until I was 24 (if you scroll down on here you'll find my story on here too).

It's definitely abuse, but you're right for questioning it in the sense that society hasn't yet woken up to the fact that not only is it abuse, but it's the most insidious and destructive form of abuse out there, as it targets your very emotional foundations- when you told me about the government's response, as disgusting as it was, it honestly didn't surprise me in the slightest. So many scumbag bureaucrats out there seem to only want to push hard if there's a bruise or sexual evidence!

I'd like to tell you you had an easy road ahead, but the reality is that you're about to enter a warzone of demons from the past which will so many times seem like they're even worse than the actual abuse. Chances are you might even want to commit suicide a few times as well, and you may even wonder if anyone would even care if you did.

I bring all this up because you can beat it, no matter how dark the emotional journey seems to be. Every time you go on living even if it's out of blind hope, is another day you live on to fight- another day that the demons don't win, that he doesn't win!

For the longest time you'll feel like it's pointless and that you're hanging on for the sake of hanging on for something that may never come, but one day you'll discover the truth.

I think we'd all agree that child abuse is abhorrent because it targets and ravages something unique, special and priceless at your very core and right now it probably seems like it's permanently destroyed.

The reality is that it's still there and no matter what you might be feeling right now, it's still in one piece- just hidden by demons and a mountain of lies. Look deep down every single step of the way, fight the pain no matter how bad it gets and eventually you'll find it again, and when that day comes, you'll finally feel what true joy is.

Most of all know that what you went through was abuse, that the fact that you're still alive is a victory in itself, and that if you hang in there and let yourself feel what you have to to work through this, you can beat it all and be in a place you never dreamed you could be!

Know that you're not alone and that there are plenty of us here who both believe you and BELIEVE IN YOU!

Aug 27, 2008
My story
by: Andrew Richards

Brent, here's a link to Andrew's story which was my story that I posted on here a while ago. I thought that maybe it might help.

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stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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