Child Abuse Commentary From Rebbeca

by Rebbeca
(Location Undisclosed)

I think I may have missed some signs: 
I am writing because I called CPS on my former boyfriend. We are not in a custody battle and if I wanted a custody battle I would have started this while I was pregnant or even now as he is getting ready to go to trial for involuntary manslaughter while intoxicated.

My 4 year old daughter came home in January and when getting ready to go to bed I asked her if she took a bath and she replied yes my dad and I showered. I asked if her father was in the shower with her and she replied yes. I thought surely she has confused the facts. There is no way a 30 year old male would bathe with her. I texted her father and asked if he took a shower with her and he replied yes. I asked if he could clarify for me if he was in the shower with her and he replied yes. Hope this is not a problem. I freaked out because of some of my past experiences and as a psychology major the things I have read. I began to grill her and asked her who washed her private parts and she replied her dad. I asked who washed his and she said I did. I kept grilling her which I probably should not have. When I asked if she could show me how they bathed each other she bathed herself all over even her vulva. I asked if she was asked to bathe him and she said yes. I asked if she would show me and she did a jacking off hand motion. She then said he rubbed his pepee all over her bottom. I freaked out and called CPS. Over the next couple of days I just informed her she should not bathe with men and told her it is okay for her to bathe with her grandmother and mother (I now believe no adult should bathe with her after reading stories). During the process of interviewing my little girl told the workers she did not bathe with her dad and she only bathed with her grandmother and mother. They have closed out the investigation and I believed maybe I had blown the situation out of proportion or I had overreacted so i just informed her dad about CPS and how we should not allow her to be with males alone. Needless to say I still feel uneasy letting her go on visits to her father's and I feel I may have jeopardized her situation by lecturing her the day after. I don't know if I'm overreacting and was this a freak accident or if it did and this is something happening to her. During this month she was bed-wetting and not wanting to go to her father's. Also, the director of her daycare pulled me aside and told me they found her on the playground riding another little boy. She said she was massaging his shoulders. The worker said she rolled over and told the little boy it was his turn and the boy walked off. He freaked out and does not play with her anymore. I have always had a hard time establishing boundaries myself and feel I have no solid evidence to get a case again.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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