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Jun 11, 2015
To Anonymous:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

It is very common for sexual abuse survivors to only remember vague details. It is also VERY common to be "badly affected by an isolated sexual assault". Try not to compare other peoples' stories to what you endured and the effects you're now left with. Each person experiences something different. It's what you tell yourself about what happened that can make a huge difference in the healing process.

If you think of yourself as "dirty", then you cast judgment and condemn yourself for what someone ELSE did to you. You weren't to blame. The abuser was to blame. He's the one who shoulders the shame for what he did.

And as for not telling sooner, the #1 reason sexual abuse victims don't tell is they're afraid they won't be believed. So please, stop judging yourself for not telling sooner.

You can't change how you feel, but when you change what you think you automatically change how you feel which automatically changes how you act and treat yourself.

Unless and until you are prepared to change your perspective on this, the abuser will always be a part of your life. And that means that you will forever be connected to him. Don't allow that to continue. Tell yourself the truth: he manipulated a very young child that was vulnerable and too young to protect herself. He took advantage of your youth and vulnerabilities. That's what sexual predators do. The prey on little children who aren't equipped to keep themselves safe. But you survived. And now it's time to thrive. You deserve that in your life.

I send you love, light and healing energy. And I thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jun 12, 2017
Only once.
by: Anonymous

Hello! I have been looking through dozens and dozens of abuse stories to find one like this. My memories are extremely vague because I was so young, but there is one specific time that I remember telling myself "This doesn't feel right, but don't act like you know that." and my life was a downhill battle from there. I pushed out the memory and told myself for a decade later that I was crazy and probably schizophrenic because why would my Dad touch me? I have finally told a select few of people and started talking to a therapist so I can end the craziness in my head. This has helped a lot, but sometimes I find myself pushing the memory away again and telling my self I'm a bad person for ever even thinking that. It's stressful and hard. AND f**k the person who screws with our young developing brains.!

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this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
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From Victim to Victory
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How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life

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