Ways to Stop Child Abuse

by Andrea Ashe
(North Carolina, USA)

A Mother's Love

A Mother's Love

I just wanted to write a page about ways that we can prevent children from suffering at the hands of abusers. From what I have learned over the years in my research is that there are a few things parents, teachers, babysitters, childcare providers, and other people in communities should do if they want to help children.

  1. Talk to children about their home life. Just a simple conversation will do but we need to get back to asking "How are you?" "Is everything at home okay?" "How is your family? (mom, dad, siblings)" Any question that will let the child tell you about their life at home. Be sure to listen.

  2. Tell children about inappropriate touches. Let them know that their body is not to be touched in any way that makes them uncomfortable or hurts and that it doesn't matter who it is; they shouldn't be touched on any private area of their body. Don't only say that adults shouldn't do it to them because a lot of abuse stories are of a child being molested by other kids or teens like siblings, cousin, peers and etc. Be sure to stress the importance of 'telling' if they are being molested, no matter the age or relation of the abuser, whether it's a sibling, cousin, aunt, uncle, parent, or stranger; teach them to tell someone they trust if they are hurt and never be afraid or keep it a secret. *Most abusers get away with it because they scare their victims into keeping it a secret.
    (Please read Darlene's comments on this issue; you'll find them at the Comments link below.)

  3. If you suspect child abuse or you know it's happening...call for help and do not give up until you know that child(ren) is safe!!!!
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Comments for Ways to Stop Child Abuse

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Jan 14, 2008
Definitely a step in the right direction...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for this contribution, Andrea. I do feel that I need to clarify a couple of things.

I agree that we do need to talk to children so that they can "have a voice," so they can feel comfortable opening up when there are problems. I also agree that teaching children about appropriate and inappropriate touches is also important in helping to keep them safe. Sadly, the very people who are supposed to be teaching their children how to be and stay safe are often the very people abusing them.

Abusers get away with molesting for a variety of reasons. The number one reason that children do not disclose sexual abuse is they are afraid they won't be believed. Three very worthwhile pages to visit on my site for more information on why children do and do not tell are:

sexual abuse victims
male victims
child abuse intervention

The intervention page also provides information on how to deal with disclosures of abuse.

Again Andrea, thank you for taking the time to share the benefit of your experience and research with my visitors and me. And I love the photo; so sweet.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 11, 2009
im afraid
by: judith medina

i pressed charges on a man for molesting my daughter ... which she told me of the abuse herself but is only four years old... of course i called the police and im so afraid there will be no justice for my daughter..... I have heard nothing from the states attorney and im just scared that at her young age he will get away with it because she cannot say it the way they need her to say it to them..... if u know what i should do please let me know.

thanks

Apr 12, 2009
To Judith:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Judith, I'm very sorry that your daughter has had to deal with being molested. And I can understand why you feel fearful.

I won't lie to you, it is possible your daughter won't "get justice", but if you go into this emotionally unable to accept all possible outcomes from a trial, your daughter will be the one to suffer because at 4 years old, she can read your body language like no one else can. To try and prepare her by coaching her in any way would be to jeopardize the case. Please consider some form of counselling for yourself. Perhaps there is victim services available to you. Either way, you AND your daughter need counselling.

Besides the above, the best advice I can give you is to be there for your daughter. Keep her routine as normal as possible. If you need to have a nervous breakdown, have it away from your daughter, behind closed doors. Just don't have it in front of her or in her ear shot. If you are sad and crying, tell her that you're crying because you're sad, that sometimes mommies get sad and cry. This will give her permission to have those kinds of feelings and that it's okay to cry when she's sad. Just make your words age appropriate and don't put any responsibility on her.

I must also say Judith that I've had to suspend my Ask Darlene feature because I no longer have the personal time to answer all the questions that come through this site. I made an exception here. Also, only the visitors who have already commented on this particular article and have opted to be notified of additional comments will read the comments here. Therefore, it is unlikely that others will respond.

I wish you and your daughter all the best.

A Video Reading by Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 16, 2009
i want to help!!!
by: mercedes fortner

hello i am only a teen myself but all the stories i have heard and all the pictures i have seen i really would want to see children have peace....there is no reason any human should get abused....... no child should have to grow up in a home where there parent always fight and take there anger out on them...its not right..just thinkn bout all the children that have died,or even in the hospital for recovery makes me cry...PLEASE EVERYONE HELP STOP CHILD ABUSE!!!

Oct 27, 2009
thank you
by: Anonymous

i luv ur article bout child abuse. i was wondering if you have any more tips on how to prevent it besides those 2. i am a high school student and you information was great and got me a 87% mark!

Jan 05, 2010
stop abuse of babies who can't speak for their selves
by: Linda Mitcham

After witnessing child abuse of my great grandbaby at the hands of his mother's boyfriend..I reported it to the police and protective services..I feel so empty inside and want to do All I can, not feeling I've done enough...this child is just two....I am in a different state and need to know I have done All I can to assure his safety...PRAYING GOD WILL INTERVENE

Mar 03, 2010
i know
by: catylene

iknow what your talkin about and i proud of you for standing up for children . i also think that a person that wants to hurt a child or children are so durty and worthless .. it makes me sick thinking that a person would do this to a child and i know what they are goin through i went through the same thing and it come to the point to there he said that he would kill me .... he was charged but his name and face haunts me every day and i just want to get the image out of my head but i cant ..... people got to realize the impact that child abuse does to children and how long the child has to live with the memeory of the peerson ..... every day i say to myself that i will get over it but i cant.... i will live a normal life with out the memeory of him

Mar 11, 2010
Help
by: Anonymous

I would like some advise on how to stop my sister from slapping her kids in the face,head,back and she screams at them at the top of her lungs what should I do to stop it.

May 11, 2010
It needs to stop
by: Anonymous

It Isn't right that somebody would want to hurt a accident liltle baby.Especially when there to young to be able to fight back, people need to relieze killing a little baby, your breaking up a family. They will never get over what hapened. I was abused my entire life until I was old enough to fight back, luckily It didn't kill me I'm 16 years old now and lived through everything that live has thrown at me.

Jul 26, 2010
STOP IT NOW
by: Gee

People lets stop abusing our own children if we do these who is going to be the future leader of tomorrow because these same people were are abusing they are our leaders of tomorrow whether we like it or not.Can we stop these to happen people lets take care of our own even those that we see been abused even if they are not our children lets help them,HELP CHILDREN BREAK THE SILENCE

Aug 17, 2010
children
by: Anonymous

im a survivor of child abuse im only ten years old if we all put our heads together and try to do something im sure we can do.


"the stars are best seen in the darkiest of skies"

Oct 05, 2010
why
by: katie

y would people do his we have to stop now!:*(

Oct 05, 2010
chill abuse
by: zoey

child abuse is bad and really really bad so please stop.

Oct 14, 2010
...;(
by: andrea

we really need to make copies of this page and sebd it out to people, so we can all prevent child abuse from happening to other children that need our help. children hae the right to speak for themselves abput their abuse so we all need to tslk to them.

Oct 15, 2010
Children need to tell
by: Linda Mitcham

If you are being abused in any way, talk to a responsible adult( a teacher, or clergy, a police officer). Remember the abuse is never your fault! The person who abuses has a serious sickness and needs to be stopped, NO ONE NEEDS TO ENDURE ABUSE! I took action for my Grandson by marriage, And now his Daddy has custody and ghe is in a SAFE environment. His Mother unfortunately sides with the abusive boyfriend...very sad when a woman picks a MAN? over her child. This person is a monster as far as I am concerned and now a little boy has been saved by the justice system, and many people praying for him. GOD BLESS EVERYONE READING THIS AND LET'S ALL GET THE ABUSE STOPPED!

Nov 09, 2010
thank you
by: christine

thank you im only 11 and want to help ive seen lots of videos and think its rong y do people do this so i will get my teacher to help me thx bye

Dec 12, 2010
the lord is hearing you out!
by: Lou ann Carter

Hi!
My name is Lou ann Carter and I'm here to talk about child abuse. The short message I just read made me change! It made my life a whole lot different! I know how it is because my older sister has beat me and beat me until I couldn't stand! And I just hated that! If you know someone who is being abused or your being abused please call the child abuse community! You will get all the help that is supplied and given! We will help you and just keep praying to the lord! He is mighty!! He will get you through your child abuse! Lord almighty help these people and these children lord we pray to you and worship you and bow down before you! We pray, AMEN!!! :)

Jan 07, 2011
STOP!!
by: Anonymous

STOP CHILD ABUSE!!!!

Jan 12, 2011
love
by: Anonymous

i like, this short little passage

Jan 17, 2011
child abuse
by: abdul yusuf

ITS THE RIGHT OF THE CHILDREN
TO, EQUALITY WITHOUT DISTINCTION OF RACE ,COLOR,RELIGION,SEX OR NATIONALITY.
EACH CHILD IS ENTITLED TO PROTECTION AGAINST PERSECUTION AND EDUCATION THAT FOSTERS THE SPIRIT OF PEACE AND UNIVERSAL BROTHER HOOD.

Feb 23, 2011
create awareness
by: Sara

It is very important to create awareness about child sexual abuse from family and law enforcement agencies should take serious action towards child abuse cases.

Mar 31, 2011
tHANKS
by: Anonymous

Im an 8th grader doin some project on Preventing Child Abuse and the statistics & facts and what the causes are and I think Child Abuse personally is WRONG.. It needs to stop.... I dont know what is going thru the abusers heads but its wrong .... love the child not abuse it

Apr 13, 2011
parents who abuses their child
by: Anonymous

I have someone that i know who is abusing there son what should i do should i report them it has been going on for along time.

Apr 13, 2011
REPORTING ABUSE
by: Anonymous

THE CHILDS SAFETY AND OR LIFE COULD DEPEND ON SOMEONE CARING ENOUGH TO REPORT IT. I DID AND MY GREAT GRANDCHILD NOW LIVES WITH HIS REAL FATHER AND HE IS SAFE AND HAPPY! PLEASE BE THAT PERSON THAT CARES ENOUGH TO REPORT THE ABUSE, AND GOD BLESS YOU!

Apr 18, 2011
Email your Political Leaders...
by: Concerened in Cumberland

I am currently studying child abuse and even though we all know it happens when you actually hear stories of small town kids that this is happening to and not the big stories on Nancy Grace it really puts it all into perspective. I have not been able to function for the past week and my eyes are swollen with tears for these children and babies. i have learned that pushing for stiffer laws does help. We had a local guy here just get sentenced for grabbing a little girl out of her front yard and taking her tot he woods and trying to kill her get 55 years. That is not nearly long enough however he is 50 years old so he will die in jail thank god and. Emailing local officials and federal officals can bring awareness. I try to email several people every week. Its a shame that this world will never know (at least in our lifetime) whats it is like to have every single child go to bed fed and safe and its their god given right to have that. I hope we all stick to trying to stop child abuse!!

May 08, 2011
how can they do it?
by: naomi

Hi everyone..i've been looking at the abuse cases and i got scared.. i have an 3 year old girl and i could NEVER IMMAGIN of doing something that i know it could hurt her. i just don't understand how others do it.
I'm so so so sorry for all the children suffering out there. Hope that some way and some how it will end so that all beautiful angels won't have to suffer.
7 8 months ago i saw the baby Brianna Lopez case..(i have tears even now in my eyes)i couldn't believe it. and in the meanwhile i don't understand why our lord gave her,a life that he knew she was going to suffer.
Anyway god bless all mama s and take REAL GOOD CARE OF YOU BABY.

May 09, 2012
good job
by: Anonymous

good job!!!!!!!

Jul 29, 2012
stop it
by: Anonymous

f***ing stop child abuse stop decreasing the children population

Aug 07, 2014
economical crisis
by: samuel w

child abuse is one of the main factor's that is draining our income in anyways,and olso leads to building up of bad citizen in the community,society,country and even whole wide world....... so the government should come with something to stop or prevent child abuse...in that case the government must provide councelling classes for the parent's and caregiver to learn how to teach their children when their child is miss behaving in the house.....instead of beating them up...parents must make their children feels that they are the up coming leaders of their own society or even world wide .so that type of thinking and mentality will help them grow in a healthy family....if child abuse is still growing,there will be unpredictable future for our nation,because about 30per cent of of abuse and neglect children will later abuse their own children,continuing the horrible cycle of abuse......

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