Violence is Not the Answer to Child Abuse or Bullying

by Pamela
(Rice Lake, Wisconsin, USA)

I would like to thank you personally Darlene, for taking the time to respond to my post (see Pamela's story on this site) and for getting back to me about the room in OpenSpace1 as soon as you did!


I also would like to inform people who suffered all kinds of abuse from physical to emotional, to bullying, to teachers abuse that violence (an explanation is below2) may seem like a way to get things done! But while it may seem that way, violence NEVER SOLVES ANYTHING! I have decided to, after reading the comments from Darlene and some of her readers, to forgive; and I would urge others to forgive, if possible. Violence only hurts your cause and gives a win to those people who hurt you.

After some considerable thought, I've decided to just forget about what happened to me so many years ago and not to give them another thought, as they are not giving me a thought. And even if confronted, would probably never admit to any wrongdoings anyway. It is because of that reason that I am gonna move on to other more worthwhile causes in my life, and put the past behind me! I'm not wasting one minute more on people who would never even be honest enough to admit what they did was wrong in the first place. And since they don't think about me or what they did to me, I am not wasting my life on those people either!

Please people...don't get involved in VIOLENCE TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS. THERES GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!

1Rooms in OpenSpace are now by invitation only.

2Pamela's commentary above falls on the tails of information I provided when I wrote to advise her that I could not open a room in OpenSpace for the purpose of accepting and responding to bullying stories. I believe such a cause is definitely worthwhile, but I had to explain to Pamela that although I receive bullying stories on a regular basis, bullying does not fall under the category of child abuse; and therefore, I do not post them on this site. I also advised her that many of the bullying stories I do receive are laden with excessive use of coarse language, as well as gratuitous and graphic violence (I supplied her with a sample sentence). Often times this violence is promoted by and done at the hands of the bullying victim; an effect of years of relentless torment and a lack of support from the adults who should be stepping in. As a violence and abuse prevention educator, I cannot and do not endorse such behaviour, and therefore do not allow such stories to be posted on this site, bullying or otherwise.


Darlene's comments to this Child Abuse Commentary "Violence is Not the Answer to Child Abuse or Bullying" can be found at Comments below this submission.

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Jun 17, 2008
I commend you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your message about violence is an important one, Pamela. Thank you for sharing it with my visitors, and for including more details about your own personal situation.

I am delighted to learn that you have decided to "forgive" your abusers in favour of moving on with your life. You said, "And since they don't think about me or what they did to me, I am not wasting my life on those people either!" You couldn't be more right. Congratulations on recognizing this, Pamela. You should be very proud of yourself for such growth. I'd say you're going to get through this just fine. Keep up the great work!

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jul 09, 2008
I agree
by: Anonymous

Violence is never the answer. Bullying is violence. Having lived most of my childhood being bullied by one person after another, it makes me cringe when I read stories about children who have committed suicide because of bullying. When will teachers and parents ever learn?

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