Ungrateful or Abused

by Ariana
(Location Unknown)

I was raised by my grandparents. My parents divorced. Then my mother had different lovers and she decided that it is better for me to live with her parents. My father never had great interest in me, and after their divorce, I saw him only one time in several months.

My grandparents never hit me or something like that. However, they shouted at me if they were not pleased by my behavior. My grandmother criticized everything I did, all except, when I was doing my homework. My grandfather sometimes made inappropriate jokes, always tried to impose his views on me (how people lived when he was young) and he had temper tantrums when I (or my grandmother and me) wanted to watch at TV what he did not like.

I don't remember anyone of my family saying that they love me. My grandmother could kiss me if I got great mark on some important test, but no more than that. My mother sometimes spent time with me, she listened of my problems, she could kiss or hug me, and we did together something interesting. But it was not as often as I wanted. I felt so lonely sometimes. And I thought that if only I could live with my mother I would be so happy…but no, she did not want to live with me all the time!

When I was 17, I said to my mother that it was bad that she left me with my grandparents, and she should not had to do so. She replied that I was ungrateful, and my grandparents did not ever hit me, so all was OK, and if she knew that I would be so ungrateful, she would do even less for me. When I said to my grandparents that I was unhappy when I was a child, said that they did not understand what I talking about and, of course, they always loved me and may be I am too sensitive. It is true that my grandmother cooked for me, cared for me, helped me with my homework and she even read me books when I was ill. But I never could talk with her about anything that important for me (my thoughts, my problems, my hobbies) because she always criticized everything. And my grandparents are good people, but it is very difficult to live with them.

I don’t know if my case was case child abuse, or if I’m just ungrateful and too sensitive.