Sexual Abuse Effects From Sarah

by Sarah
(Borden, Ontario, Canada)

I can't believe what I did! 
My parents brought me to the hospital yesterday because I threatened suicide. My father brought me to the hospital and I talked to a crisis worker about how my older brother did sexual things with me when I was younger. My father and I were alone in a room in the hospital and he started to get upset at me because I had taken my bracelet off that the doctors had given me to wear and I ripped up a card that the crisis worker had given me with info on it that was important, and so my Father grabbed me by my wrist quite harshly and he also pushed me when I tried to open the door to get out. He kept on grabbing me and I told him to stop grabbing me or I would hit him and so I did I smacked him in the face and I couldn't believe I had done something so horrific. I feel horrible. I can't believe I did that. I am ashamed of what I did and I'm sorry for what I did and I hope I never do that ever ever again. I hope he can forgive me as well.


Sincerely.
Sarah M.

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Comments for Sexual Abuse Effects From Sarah

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Sep 17, 2008
A cry for help...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Sarah, you are being very hard on yourself. We all do things when we are in severe distress that does not amount to our proudest moment. In truth, there is nothing you can do to change what happened; it happened and now you can choose how you are going to deal with it. You can choose to make amends; that's what being an adult is all about. Consider a heart to heart talk with your father, but do it from a deeply loving place. You might find him a lot more understanding than you realize. You might also find an ally you didn't know you had. You might find that the two of you can start healing together.

I also strongly recommend you contact the hospital to find out the name of that crisis worker. At the very least, consider some form of counselling in order to deal with the residue of your sexual abuse at the hands of your brother. You are definitely worth the help, Sarah. Your threat of suicide was a cry for help...now is the time to let someone help you.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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