Resiliency a Plus, Don't Keep Abuse a Secret

by Stephanie Braski
(Brantwood, WI USA)

I wrote the article Legal System Fails, Cycle of Abuse Continues. I now write a follow-up as to how things are going at this point in time.

I have seen the resiliency in my son who was abused physically and emotionally by his dad. Part of his resiliency stems from personality traits—he has always been strong-willed and stubborn. Since he has left the abusive home he has had abundant support from my family and friends. Since he was brainwashed during his childhood he didn't realize that we have been there for him, there was a lack of trust of my side of the family. He now trusts us and he recognizes we are here for him.

I can't stress enough how important it is for abuse victims to seek a strong support network. There are people who care and will help. Victims need to look inside themselves and find their strengths. Supportive people can help with this. Many child victims have lacked exposure to resources. There are resources out there at agencies and with professionals. There are so many people in the general population who have similar experiences and can offer support. The biggest issue is DON'T KEEP IT A SECRET!

My son has been able to take steps forward after releasing the burden of the secret. With our support he has been able to attend to and resolve his legal problems. We are helping him to get a job by networking with others and driving him to where he needs to go. We keep encouraging him to pursue his goals.

Overall, my son is doing well in spite of being a victim. I attribute this to his personality traits, maturing into a young adult and our support. He is resilient and has the capacity to move forward and not let being an abuse victim hold him back. I see him demonstrating this in small steps and I am so proud as a mother.

My message to other victims is DON'T GIVE UP! Everyone on this earth is worthy and can overcome the issues that plague being an abuse victim. After the survival stage, victims can begin to heal and become whole and healthy people.