Relationship Violence Story From Niesha

by Niesha
(Tenessee, USA)

I was 13 and was in this relationship with my first love. I gave this person 2 years and 6 months of my life and all through the relationship he beat on me. The first time he hit me he apologized and promised he never do it again. i believied it and didn't leave. As time went by i was blinded by love and everytime he hit me I thought it was my fault and i never thought anything of it. So blinded by love and being young and naive. I thought it was cause he loved me but turns out he was in love with someone else. I caught him cheating on me and it tore me apart. I cryed for 3 months and didn't eat and I stayed to myself. Now its to the point where I'm scared to love again and let the person I really care about now know how i feel. I'm afraid but I will soon get over it.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Niesha

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Apr 04, 2011
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Love doesn't hurt. Whether or not this abuser ever cheated on you, the fact is he hit you. That's not love; that's abuse, plain and simple. What you described about the way things went in the relationship: the violence, the self-blame, then his apology and promises (the honeymoon period); this all speaks to the cycle of violence. You deserved so much better than that. And while I can understand you are having difficulty trusting as a result of what this abuser did to you, understand that not all relationships are violent. But first and foremost, understand that you are worthy of dignity and respect. Work on your self-esteem, Niesha. Work on building your confidence. And turn to the resources that are available to you: counseling services, as an example. Some type of counseling can better help you understand why you believe you're not worthy of something better than what you settled for in that relationship. Because you DO deserve better. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series

Apr 04, 2011
by: GPM

Love is a very powerful emotion. If human beings were not capable of love we would have destroyed our world centuries ago- that's how cruel we can be without love. And it really doesn't make any what kind of love we deal with. A mother loves her baby to the point she will die to protect it. A man and woman love each other so that life will renew itself from their highly affectionate union.

Niesha we can't give up on love because of a bad experience. You were the one in love, he was the one who does not know love, and probably never will. It is so tragic when someone gives there love and it is rejected by someone who is basically a misguided coward. But we all misjudge other people all the time. The late Roy Orbison sang a song about "love hurts" and it sure can. But wouldn't you rather haved loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?

Let me make a suggestion to you. Like the person first, then fall in love. I never loved a person I didn't really like first. And even when I found reason not to like them that much anymore, I still loved them. Give it a try- it might make your day.

Apr 05, 2011
because I love I will discipline you, beat you, for your own good
by: maurice

The amount of times I heard that said to me as a child/adolecent by the person my mother trusted and the state trusted: If I had 50 or more pairs of hands it would not be enough: There is no violence in LOVE: There is no cruelty, sadism, etc in true honest genuine LOVE: Niesha, I am so happy/delighted you searched for and found DARLEN'S safe have site: New Beginnings, with new horizons for you to reach in a positive frame of mind and thinking: Read slowly, taking into your heart as well as your head Darlene's woman's heart feeling words to you personally: She wants you to know there is life after abuse no matter who does it on you: or one: This so called lover of yours was not even a man: A coward, a controller, a contradiction: I'm sorry, that won't happen again but you know it did and went on until you found how deceiving he really was: Great you were strong to part with him: I am certain he won't change until he is brought to task: Sadly there are a small percent of women out there who believe this is a form of LOVE: It ain't and will never be: Violence has no place in building a realtionship/friendship. Niesha: you'll be fine: stay in eduction: have a true friend or two your own age and gender: Between you life, Love and reason will be made normal and natural: Then Niesha find a therapist or counsellor and share what you have written here on Darlene's safe haven site: A therapist will put all your fears in perspective: To find a genuine way of building up your self worth and I am guessing here that you are a young woman: Young enough to have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Yes, Niesha this will benefit you: Get out there taking part with like-minded friends and people in team sports like hockey, rugby, what ever: You'll make real and genuine friends with loads of aquaintance who will value and respect you for your giftedness, your tallents and I am sure your leadership qualities as a team person: Like, love, apprecieate, respect that beautiful body of yours so in time others like in a relationship will respect you and it too: You be in charge of your own destiny: You have a life to live to the full each day you wake up and jump into the shower to begin your day: Let my motto BE I WILL: I CAN: I MUST: WHY?? SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: Darlene asked you to build up your self-esteem I have given you some ideas on how to begin: change your daily/weekly routine; ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF by taking part in team activities: Look in that mirror and think positive, act positive, be positive in all you do and say about that wonderful me person looking out at you: hug and cuddle yourself, be gentle and kind to your body soothe your body with nice scenting oils and creams: era go on all over there is no one looking: NOW say I LOVE ME: I'M SPECIAL: there are loads of great loving, respecting fish (men) out there Niesha:

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