Relationship Violence Story From Nelly

by Nelly
(Pheonix, Arizona, USA)

The scars will never heal - this is my painful story: 
It happened when i met the "love of my life". his name i wont say but ill call him "IT". IT was my friend in the beginning. just met him and we started to have feelings for each other. he was amazing with everything and made me laugh every minute. we went out on his birthday and it was just perfect how that day turn out. people were jealous that he picked me over all the pretty girls in school and i was proud. he saw me in ways people never even bothered to see me. but all my happy days came to an end. he didnt like my friends and they didnt like him. it made me sad and mad at the same time. he later told me not to talk to my guy friends. we were barely 2 months and i said okay. it hurt me because they were like my brothers but i left their great friendship behind for IT. i guess i was just so in love. then he told me to leave my girl friends that hit me hard. i started to tell him how awsome they were and he started getting all hurt and saying i was getting bored of him so i quickly left them too. it was the hardest things i ever had to do but it did make him happy so i thought it was worth it. we were 5 months when the real pain came. he started throwing away all my stuff he didnt like. he told me how to dress and not to talk no one. only smile to him and nobody else. if someone tried to talk to me, i had to ignore them or cuss them out. i couldnt do my school work no more. if i had homework he would check my backpack to see if i did it and if i did, he would throw it away. he called me horrible names when i didnt listen. when he was over it, he would buy me so many things, he would take me out, give me so much love. i just sucked it up and became his personal puppet. then the beatings came. i started to tell him that i wasn't going to listen to him. he would keep telling me to shut up. i tried to stand up for myself. the first time i did that, he threw me against the wall. so i just stayed quiet. he cried to sleep that night on the phone so i forgave him. but then it was just slapping me, pinching me, punching me, pushing, shoving, and all the abuse you can imagine. i couldnt say nothing or else he would do something to me. one day it got really bad. he kicked me on my stomach so hard that he took my air out. i passed out, we were in school that day. the ambulenece came and took me away. he wouldnt stop texting me and my dad told me to keep away from him. we were about 7 months those days. i forgave him the moment we went back to school. but the beatings didnt stop until summer came and i didnt see him at all. we broke up and it was so painful for me because i still love him even tho he hurt me so much. hes still asking for me, people tell me all the time that he loves me and will be waiting for me.

the question is, will i be waiting for him?

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Nelly

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Sep 10, 2010
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

If you are waiting for him, he'll kill you. You're not in love with him; you're in love with the idea of who you think he is. But he is not that person. He's an abuser and he's manipulated you. He WILL NOT change. He doesn't love you; he's in love with the idea of completely and utterly controlling you, and with harming you. Abusers play the game. HE'S playing a game. You are wrapped up in the cycle of violence; and that cycle will not end until you stay away from him forever. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. You can visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series

Sep 10, 2010
Don't be fooled by him: Don't fool yourself: You are not in love:
by: maurice

I leave my friends both male and female all because he tell me to: Molly I can read between the lines you are a highly intelligent Teenager, Young thinking woman with cop on: You sit back and just work out why you did what you did: You'll work it out intelligently: Then you will make a real sense of Darlene's comment to you: You take notice of her woman's heart feelings and professional advice: She knows you are not nieve: She knows you value your frioends maler/Female more than this control freak of a fool guy: Stop the relationship now otherwise don't come back and tell Darlene and her visitors the tragedy of how the relationship ended years from NOW; Be safe: Stay safe: get back with you friends: Listen to them NOW: They know this guy is not worth paining yourself about: Wil he or won't he come back: Show him you have a mind of your own: Tell him to get lost: If he lays a hand on you then that will tell the clown control freak he is You owe it to yourself: Now start getting a healthy mind in a healthy body: There is safety in numbers: Take part with your class mates and peer group in sporting and cultural activities: Let you friends frighten him off with you: He;s not a friend Molly: You have been warned: I am sure you telling Darlene and her visitors your story was a cry for help: You have been given it in Darlene's comment to YOU; If he does not leave you alone threaten him with the Law: I want what is the best for you MOLLY: I hope you want what is best for you

Sep 11, 2010
Women are not as insecure as men make us think we are.
by: Beth

The one thing that I have learned from my 30 years of dating and from one failed marriage,is that I am not as insecure as most men want me to be or make me feel. Once I realized that, I swore that I would never 'settle' for anything or anyone less that what I truly deserved. Women deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You should realize that when you wake up every morning and think to yourself that things might 'be better today', they won't. Just look in the mirror and repeat to yourself 'I deserve better' and how dare he make me think that I don't!

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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