Relationship Violence Story From Name Undisclosed

by Name Undisclosed
(Pennsylvania, USA)

Still Suffering: 
When I was in college I got with the wrong crowd, and that is where I got my first boyfriend. It was fine at first, then he was spending my money that I was making, going out and drinking or bowling (which I like at the time too), but bowling came with drinking also. I couldn't really drink since I was pregnant after 4 months of being with the guy. When I would limit the drinks he could have it started yelling fights.

We got a place, but had to move due to the work that needed to be done. He had proposed to me but I knew I didn't want to be married, not like this. He even asked my dad, which of course my dad said yes. After losing he lost his jobs countless times, I got my CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) licence which made everything much worse.

When I got home, my son would be watching my ex play games, which my son was only 3-4 months at the time. Then after I got home he would leave for the bar/go to his friend's house which I still believe gave him drugs. I got tired of this and would tell him that he needs to go up and be a man which made my ex mad. He started hitting and accusing me of cheating (which I thought of, but didn't). About 3-4 months after I got my licence (CNA) I went into a job that I got, and it was an old man (god rest his soul) was not being taken care of right by his daughter. I got him all cleaned up and made sure he didn't get red, did odds and ends like vacuuming or putting laundry away which I didn't mind since I knew what I would be going home too if I left. I met his grandson's friend and we started hanging out, at first learning sign language then just talking which was again me not wanting to leave since I knew what I was going home to. My ex being angry and taking it out on me, which he would hit me, then it got to him cornering me. Then if I would try to get through he would get me to the floor and hit and kick me when I was down. Then I started to fight back and kick him from the floor. I got him good a couple of times but I didn't know at that time I could go back to my parents. I thought I was stuck because of my son.

After about two weeks of knowing my client's grandson's friend, he helped me get the courage to leave. I went home and was clutching what necklace he gave me, wanting to see him again. My ex sensed something was up and after a few days forced me to have sex with him. He would not take no for an answer and I knew my ex was drunk but it still doesn't make it right.

After that happened I moved out and was living with my mom and dad, but I still had to deal with my ex because of my son. I eventually told his dad what my ex had done but he didn't believe me. I still have some times when I flashback when my husband and I wrestled (in a good way) and see my ex holding my wrists so I can't get up when he's hitting me. My husband has been by my side and has not done anything like that to me. He's my everything, my savior, my angel.

I just wanted to tell my story so that other girls know they can get out even though they may have a baby or children. Nobody should have to put up with abuse in relationships. There is an out: family, friends, shelters also. I found my angel, you can find yours.

A Video Reading by Darlene BarriereNote from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Name Undisclosed

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Jun 26, 2009
Excellent message...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I agree...there is always a way out of an abusive relationship. One must make the choice to actually leave. And there are organizations out there to help those in need of assistance. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) is one such organization. They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. For any of my visitors needing more information, you can visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series

Jun 30, 2009
get out, get out, that is your message
by: maurice

Undisclosed, there is one beautiful woman/human being behind your name. I can know that from your telling of your story. Great advice, it took great courage for you up and away from your Relationship Violence. You tell others in similar circumstances get out. Having a beautiful child by such a brute, and ignorant Man, uneducated moron. No excuses for any male who uses violence on a female whom he say he loves. Now you have found real love, real security love that child of yours, love yourself while letting go of those horrible memories of violence by that despicable man.

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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