Relationship Violence Story From Melissa

by Melissa
(Location Undisclosed)

When I met A--, everything seemed picture perfect. We met through mutual friends, deciding to date as our "love" grew. Quickly in our relationship, he became jealous. And I had no idea it was a huge thing to worry about. He always checked my phone and iPod right when we hung out. And I wasn't even allowed to talk to guys at school, or look at them. Then one day him and I were hanging out with some friends, and my friend mentioned how I talked to a guy friend that day, and A-- freaked out on me so bad when we got alone. Yelling in my face, I thought it was all my fault even though the guy and I were just friends. Then he told me what I could and couldn't wear. I couldn't wear jeans with holes in them because he thought guys would try to put there hands in there, and I couldn't wear low cut shirts since he thought I wanted to show off my chest area. Then one time I wore jeans with holes in them to school, he freaked out, ripped my phone from my hand and deleted all the guys out of there. Even my cousins, and co workers.. I was obviously upset at first, but when I'd get mad, he'd call me a s*** and say I want all the guys in my phone so I could sleep with them. Then, one day he broke my car door. He slammed it so hard, it broke and he ran off and called my mom to tell them I was with him. Every time we fought, he always got my parents involved just to get me in trouble. Then one time I worked 12-8 and we hung out after. I was going out to eat with all my co workers at 11, and he wanted to go. But he couldn't go since all my co workers and boss's hate him. He choked me while I was driving. And turned my car off twice in the middle of me driving. My whole body was in panic mode. He also began stalking me. He broke my phone at Walmart, then he started hitting me and a worker called the cops. He also went searching for me one day because I wasn't with him. He almost hit my friend with his truck. And almost got him, my friend and I into a car accident. I feel bad to this day I put my friends through it. One thing he loved to do was burn me with cigarettes. He even pushed a door through the frame one time we fought. I was always scared of him. I started to be more quiet around everyone. He knew everyone and had people watch me. He even tried to kill himself. He even held me hostage at his friends when it was just him and I home. I tried running out each door, but he'd just hit me and throw my stuff everywhere. He even almost hit my car on the expressway. I pulled over and we both were hurting each other on the side of the expressway. So embarrassing. He wouldn't let me talk to my family or friends. Every single day I had to hang out with him. Then he started driving by my house to see if I was home or not. One time after work, we met at a gas station so i could see him for a minute, he took my phone so i jumped on his back. He then seen i texted my guy friends, just to talk, he then pushed me off his back onto the cement. It hurt so bad ill never forget it. 3 or four people were outside just watching, doing nothing. Then as i tried to drive away, he jumped in my back seat. I could never escape from him.And if I refused to have sex with him, he'd get so angry, and make me. One night, I lied to him about texting a boy. He called him and was yelling so badly at me that his mom was scared. He then told me, since you lied to me I get to do something to you, it's your punishment.... He raped me. He made me have anal sex. And of course I was crying, and all he could do was yell, why are you fake crying? And kept on going. That was the night I realized I need to get out. There were nights where I really wanted to kill myself. I was so depressed, and lost many friends to this day about it. Everything was just too much for a 16 yr old to handle. He was way too controlling and possessive. When we went shopping, he gt me a pair of bra and underwear, he wrote his name in it because he thought I'd use with other guys. I knew this was crazy. I have no clue how I dealt with this for 8 months. But when I finally got out, it was totally different. I didn't have to hide anything, I could do what I want. It's still weird though, and I get scared to get close with anyone now, especially males. But I'm on the road to recovery and I know it's going to be worth it. Next time I'm going to be a lot more careful of picking out boy friends. But if you think you're in an abusive or controlling relationship, you need to get help. You can't let it get worse like mine. If I would have stayed, I know he would have killed me. No one deserves to be killed, especially from abusive relationships...





Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Melissa

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Dec 11, 2012
Melissa:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm SO glad to hear you got out of that relationship! You're absolutely right: chances are, if you had stayed, he would have killed you. But you found the self-esteem you needed, the intestinal wherewithal to understand that you deserved something—someone—better in your life. I can understand how you're now reluctant to get close to men. Just know that not all men are like A--. What's important now is understanding why you thought you weren't worthy of being treated better to begin with. When you understand that, and then work on recognizing you DO deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, then you'll make much healthier choices for your Self. And the place to start is to treat your Self with dignity and respect and love. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Melissa. I send you love, light and healing energy.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?

Dec 13, 2012
Thanks
by: Melissa

I seriously read that comment about 10 times. It made me cry, but put a smile on my face to know someone cared enough to read my story. I want to one day own your book. This website really inspires me and got me to talk out more of what happened in my life. And there's actually a new boy in my life. We're not dating yet, since I wanna take things extra slow, and he totally understands and I love it! But lately I've been having flashback and nightmares and waking up to cold sweats about my ex boyfriend. So I'm not 100 percent ready to date yet, but I try to take it day by day. And I'd really like to get my nightmares and flashbacks under control so I can live my life. I'm finally starting to come out of my shell again, and enjoying it as much as I can. I definitely need to get your book. Thank you again so much for having this website and caring enough to comment. This really made my day. Thank you

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