Relationship Violence Story From Marie

by Marie
(Ilinois, USA)

Well me and my bf have been dating almost 6 months. The abuse started a couple of months ago. I've herd from people a befor we even started that he was abusive. But I told them that's he would never hit me. I've herd that he hit his ex gf but he said it was because she cheated. He said that would be the only reason he'd ever hit me is if I cheated on him. Well I have not cheated on him ever in our whe relationship. I'm not that kind of person I dont at games like that. Well I. The beginning of our relationship I could tell that he was controlling he would always ask where I was when we wernt together and look at my txt messages to my friends he. He startedto noted me see my friends because that would take out time together ven though w where together from sun up to sun down and nights during he weekend. He would always tell me he hated my friends cuz they dont like him ether but I told him that I'm not going to stop being friends wig my closest friends just because he didn't like them. I told him that I hated all of his friends cuz I do but I still deal with gem so that he can see them and not ditch them because of me. He won't ever let me do what I want to do duringthe day or he makes me feel bad about it and when I manage to go out and do something with out him he would call me and txt me non stop and eventually make me so fed up with him asking me how long I'm going to be or when I'm coming back I would just give in and leave to see him. My friends are getting fed up I fel them slipping away and starting to hate me for it. But if only they new what was going on. I told myself I would ne'er be in a relationship like this but I guess I was wrong. Just my luck I suppose. So about 3 months in is when he started to hit me. Once he did it almost everyday for a week. Let's start from the top. I slept over at his house during a school nigh Which is not our in ether of our houses well I did not want to sleep over in fear of getting in trouble but I stayed anyway . We woke up late for school wich is another reason why I did not want to sleep over. Well I told him it was time to get up cuz we were alreadyate so I'm rushing to get ready and what does he do? Be goes on to his laptop to go on facebook so I said babe hurry up we are already late. That's when he flipped. He slammed his computer shut and started a tantrum prett much so I tol him to stop pouting he got ma so he threw a hanger at me or in my direction I got mad and said f you don't throw things at me so since I said f you he whipped his pants in my direction so I went up to him and pushed him a little but and said do not throw things at me. But before I could move my hands away he grabbed me tightly and started pushing me back toward a wall but on the way there he made me trip on one if his weights and I fell into the wall instead. I could feel my body making a whole in the wall I hit my head and didn't really comprehend what happens very well. He was still holding me even though I fell to the ground he put his face right in my face and said stop talking s**t about me. Then he let me go and went back to dressing himself. I got up dizzy and I said I wasn t talking s**t I just told you to hurry up. Then I left to go outside and smoke I e if his cigarettes. He drive me to school and then he got mad at me because didn't talk to him he whole ride there. I just said sorry bye and went to school. That whole day j hot about his ex gf and started to realize like no winder why she cheated on him he didn't tret her right. Well anyway he didn't say sorry or anything but he did what they all do they pretend it never even happend. Well the next day we had a farily good day it was fun we were both happy got our stuff done but the. The night came and we where siting outside my house In his car and I started tickling him and would t stop so he got pissed. He started getting pissed and grabbing my wrists and twisting them I got him off me and kept going then he got even mire angry and got on top of ne so fast twisted my wrists and held me there he said stop I said okay the he go off and went back to his seat I went told hold him but apparently it tickled him so he blew up and starte elbowing me in the arm. I remember thinking to myself that this dos t hurt and he is weak. Buthe wasn't yet finish when he was dine punching me he kicked me up against the car door an held me here my face was on the window my hand was to but I was trying to push away from it but it didn't work he would yell At me are you done?!! I wouldn't say anything to scared to say anything he would stop and I would try and be okay so I would hug him and he'd hug me but whe I squeeze him tigh he got mad and said it tickled so he got back onto of me and put my arm outthe window and ores down so my arm would twist and have my arm pressed hard against the window it hurt j Thor my arm was going to break he asked I was done again and I tried to ge out of his grip buthat made him think that I was not done so he twisted and pressed even harder it's not j I'm I said okay!! Get off but he didnt like my attitude so he stayed unt I started to whimper wth pAin. He let go and I left for the safety of my home. Thenext day same situation but I wasn't tickling him. I'm not sure why be started but all I remember him doing is giving me that starE that one stare and him yelling at me there!! Now I'm hitting you!!!! He was punching me In the arm with all his strength and I could tell he was. I asked him if he fem better and said actually yah I do I feel alot better. Then he told me to get out so I did. The next time he hurt me was because I was punching my wall and shaking the whole house by doin it so he came storming In and pushed me on the bed but to keep from fallin I tried to stop myself bye graving the wall but it didn't work out so well hit my elbow. The last time he did he for a while was he got mad at me cuz j said something about cigarettes I turned to walk away from him but he graves me so fast and pushed me into my mirror it shattered and I cut my hand I bit. I don't remember what he said exactly I was just in shock is all he picked me up yelled something then I went outbo assure my family that it was m who got mad and I accidenybkicmed my mirror in. I looked at him and pushed him on the bed and said dont you ever hit me again or I will destroy your life. He trie to kick me bu I was to quick this time I said don't even think about it if I tell anyone outside that door what just happend ur dead. After that day we have been fine 3 months of peace until yesterday. I tickled him so he lunched me and twisted my wrists now I am sore. I don't no what to do most of th time for him hitting me is my fail I made him mad. He did Appolagize once he said babe I'm sorry for like beating the s**t out of you the past couple days he said I no u won't forgive me but I'll make it up to you I'll change I'll go back on my meds. I said okay and what does he do?! He goes to see he ex gf the same night. I dint know what to do or think. I suppose time will tell.





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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Marie

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Jun 01, 2011
Marie:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are living in the cycle of violence. If you don't get out and get out now you are at risk for much more violence, violence that will escalate and intensify. Lean on your family and friends. Tell them what he's doing. There's no shame in being the victim of relationship violence. Tell everyone you know, including your teachers and counsellor, what he's doing. This is so important; when others know, they can help keep you safe. The school can help to ensure you are not in the same classes as him. They can point you in the direction of community services that are available to you. Understand that he WILL hit you again and again, Marie. He WILL harm you. You are in danger staying in this relationship. There is not changing him. The promises he makes after the violence is all part of the "honeymoon phase". They mean nothing, because he will not adhere to his promises. Understand that no one has the right to hit you. No guy has the right to hit his girlfriend for anything, including for "cheating". This guy is bad news. He's trouble and he's dangerous. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.ndvh.org/

You deserve so much better than what you're living with now, Marie. Please call the number above. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?


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