Relationship Violence Story From Jasmine

by Jasmine
(Michigan, USA)

I'm really nervous about writing this but I have to get it off my chest. I've been in and out of abusive relationships my whole life and shortly after I sent my abusive ex to jail I met a wonderful guy named Mike. He was caring and affectionate and never made me feel worthless. About two weeks in he started displaying subtle signs of jealousy. I didn't pay them any mind until we got into an arguement and he grabbed me by my neck so hard I couldn't breathe. He was yelling at me and calling me names and told me that if I ever told anyone or called the cops on him he would hunt me down and slit my throat. Since then, hes punched me in my head, slammed it against the wall while choking me and burned me with a lighter, twice. Also, we have sex whenever he wants whether I want to or not. I was crying once and begging him to stop but he wouldn't. I don't fight back because it makes things worse and hes way stronger than me. Hes 29 and has no kids ( I have two) and wants some. I'm scared to have his child, but I know eventually he'll get tired of my delaying with excuses and make me have one. I know he doesn't cheat or anything and would be a good father, but I'm scared of him. No one knows about what he does to me because honestly I'm ashamed that I keep ending up in abusive relationships. Everytime it happens hes remorseful and makes me feel like a princess til the next time we argue about something and hes been drinking. Sober he'd never do it. I have scratch marks, bruises, and my back and side hurt right this second because last night we got into an argument about his facebook and he pounded me with a pillow, threw his and my phone at my head, choked me and held me down. I do love him and want to be with him, but he needs to stop drinking. Idk what to do honestly, I just needed to vent. Thank you for reading my story

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Jasmine

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Sep 05, 2012
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are stuck in the cycle of violence with this man. When he's treating you like a "princess", it's because he's in the honeymoon phase. But that honeymoon period will ALWAYS end, and though there may be a period of quiet & calm, it will ALWAYS be followed by another tension phase, then a violent episode. What will start to happen is as the honeymoon period starts to wane, he'll begin to subtly blame you for the violent episode with statements like, "I wouldn't have had to hurt you if you hadn't __ fill in the blank". Then what will happen is you'll believe the lie. In truth, he is completely responsible for his actions, including the fact that he drinks. But drinking is not an excuse EVER. Jasmine, as time goes on, the cycle of violence will get worse. The tension phases will happen more often and lead to more and escalated violence. Over the course of many cycles completed, eventually the honeymoon period will shorten and keep shortening until it no longer exists. And then the quiet calm phase will also disappear until you are in a constant state of tension and violence. He is an abuser, and he will not stop. You cannot make him stop. You must find that place inside your Self that realizes you are worthy of dignity and respect, because you ARE. And then you must get help for your Self. He is NOT a good father, because a "good" father would never mistreat a woman, whether or not she's the mother of his children. The fact that you have two children puts them at risk because they are witnessing the violence, whether or realize it or not. They KNOW mommy is being abused, even though they might not be able to articulate that. When children witness domestic violence it changes who they are. You must act in a way that protects your children and your Self. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

You do not deserve to be abused, Jasmine. Always remember that. Please reach out for the help that is out there for you. I send you love, light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?

Sep 06, 2012
Get out now!
by: Anonymous

Jasmine, I really hope you break up with that loser now because he must've been abusing other women as well. He's not only a danger to you, but he's also a danger to other women and even kids, so please break up with him!

Sep 08, 2012
GET OUT and GET Help!
by: Justina

I am a domestic violence counsoler and you are in serious danger. You must get an order of protection and get out! Please call the hotline 1-800-799-safe! Please!!

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