Relationship Violence Story From Icy Heart

by Name Undisclosed
(USA)

Julian was my first boyfriend...long distance boyfriend. I have had plenty before...but none like him.


I met him at my dad's wedding and we hit it off. I walked down the beach with him...how terribly cliché. And he would tell me all these wonderful things. Like, "If I could, I'd write your name in the sky." We kept in touch by phone and computer. My mother didn't approve right away, but when she saw my change in attitude, she thought he was the best thing to come into my life.

Julian was very...jealous of all of my guy friends. He was jealous that I hung out with them and couldn't go to Washington to see him. I thought that it was just natural, so I shrugged it off.

When my 16th birthday rolled around and he was 18, he asked me to send him some nude pictures. I told him no and that he didn't respect me if he couldn't listen to my reasoning. That tipped him off.

Pretending like nothing was wrong, he said okay and didn't bring it up until a couple months later. We had been talking about marriage and kids. Then he got into sex. I didn't understand...I wasn't ready. I didn't know why he was talking about it. I told my mom and she told him to quit. He did...for about six months.

When I was talking to him one time, he wanted to do sexting. I told him no and he called me horrible names. He shot down my reasoning like he was boss. When my parents secretively read my texts, they told me to break up with him. I didn't want to.

I was in love with him and I didn't understand why. How can you be in love with someone who hurt you over the course of almost two years?

I finally broke it off. I looked up teen dating violence and recognized the feelings of what I was having for him.

Don't get caught up in relationships that will kill your heart.




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Icy Heart

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Mar 22, 2010
Icy Heart:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

First of all, I don't see an "icy heart" in you; I see someone with a warm and caring heart. I see someone who is smart, someone who stuck with her core values. I also see someone who has tremendous support at home. Keep leaning on that support. And be PROUD of yourself for breaking it off with him. He wasn't worthy of you. Focus on yourself. Focus on your self-esteem and growing into a woman who has learned from her experiences. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?


Mar 23, 2010
Brave Heart
by: Mac

I see a Brave, & smart young womans heart. Proud of you! Don't go back into that type of relationship again. Look for the "Red Flags" that say" warning: dangerous devius deciptive abusive dude", & "wear your worthy of respect; I don't need a man to validate or abuse me" sign.
Thanks for sharing your story.

Mar 24, 2010
Elvis is still alive: The king:
by: maurice

Treat me nice, treat me good, treat me like you really should,for I am not made of wood, and I don't have a wooden heart: Darlene comment said it all to you wonderful and special you. Mac was'nt too far behind either. I join both of them saying YOU DON@T HAVE AN ICY HEART beautiful, wonderful, gentle, sensitive, kind, caring huge heart of flesh. A true young womans heart. Special you: you soak into you all the loving affirming words of the expert, The relationship Lady, She truly has a woman's Heart for you. and yes personally for all visitors to her site. That is her gift, her blessedness, her Angelic prowess. So warm hearted YOU. please take her comment to you into the heart she knows, we know you have. You will not go too far astray if you do. LOVE is something special equally RESPECT for the other in building love between you. When we're teens sure we get carried away in foolish but real notions of what love is. you have learned what love is not. Be careful, be safe, be in charge of yourself building your relationships. Loving caring parents you have, trust them, we read about so many on Darlene's site who are not as lucky as you. Put fire in your belly to keep that warm heart burning brightly all through your life with genuine and true love. Hi know what I LOVE ME is all about before thring to make a sense of another love for you is all about. Always believe in yourself I can't write your annonyminity I would say is not true about you. LIVE WELL: LAUGH ALOT: LOVE MUCH: BE true to the me that is looking out at you from the mirror. Be positive, be construtive, be truthful in all you say to that me. No negative stuff like I am not, a don't like this and that etc about me. Stop thinking neagtive: OK. It is ok to love the me looking out at you. bare is beautiful so are you and we acknowledge that beauty from with in our beings. That inner child wanting to be loved is me. Great you listened tour parents. but more so you learned from your experience. I am not so sure I approve of network dating. one can be deceived even by the one your present with in building relationships. Well then I am 63 years of age.

Mar 24, 2010
lucky one , good person and good parents
by: Anonymous

You are not an icy heart, at all ,more like a smart heart, and smart overall

very imformative, your generation does this stuff this text stuff, i guess well it ruins innocent relationships or making healthy ones at least
too bad, first thing i thought as you told your story was , things would be natural if love there
it sounded strange what you said he did and said,
so you did good the right thing, dont let other people change you is my advise. you sound like a good person. some people will respect that fact and some will not , the ones that really care in the end will. i dont know my daughter is teen and i wonder about that stuff, the texting and the computer things i worry, i know her pretty well
your parents are lucky you confind in them and they have the relationship to supervise this over you and find out things help you be strong and stay yourself be good and all , back up from parents too they must be wonderful parents too

you are the lucky one

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