Relationship Violence Story From Danelle

by Danelle
(Location Undisclosed)

Sadly, this is a huge problem that I am still dealing with. I met my boyfriend last year, in January. We both liked partying so I think thats kind of what made us get along so well in the first place. So after we met, we were pretty much inseperable. I didn't have a job, but I would drive the 25 minutes to his house almost everyday. After awhile I started realizing his drinking habits...he wanted to drink beer every single day. I'd say he would drink about 3-5 beers a day (the big cans that energy drinks come in), but I liked drinking too, so I just kind of let it go (eventhough I only drank like once every weekend). Anyways, everything was going good at first until the first time he put his hands on me. It was about a month after we met, and I had gotten stranded at his house because it snowed and the roads were frozen. We were sitting in my car at his house and he wanted to blare the music and I didn't want to. So we started arguing over that...its my car so obviously I should have control of the radio. Long story short, he ended up slamming me up against car, and I hit my head on the window. It was horrible because I was stuck at his house for the night, and I had never delt with an abusive person before. After that, things just got progressively worse. Sometimes I would come to his house and see him pull up in another girl's car. He claimed it was just his friend....come to find out it was some older woman who claims she has a child by him, eventhough he denies it. He also has another kid by a girl that left him two years ago, that he doesn't get to see. Worst part is, I found out I was pregnant about 3-4 months after we were dating. Then, I talked to the older woman on myspace and she claimed she had been going over to his house almost everyday while I was at school or work. He still denies everything to this day, but yet he still calls her and says they're friends??? If someone told him that I was cheating with them and it wasn't true I would never talk to that person again. So that proves his guilt if you ask me. Anyways, after he found out I was pregnant things got even worse. He's pretty much done everything in the book....punched me, kicked me, punched me in the privates, busted my lip (while i was driving), made my nose bleed, choked me, push me down, etc. He constantly accuses me of cheating eventhough he has no proof at all. Also, almost everyday he ends up calling me a b***h or a hoe. Keep in mind I have never cheated on him. He also threatens to leave me if I dont change my number, for fear that my exes will call me on it. Sometimes he will take my phone and car keys from me so I can't leave his house. If I do ever try to leave, he just beats me up more. Even if he tells me to leave, and I try to get up and go, he will beat me up. Its so ridiculous. I believe he has mental problems. Things have gotten so bad, especially over the last month or two. I am due to have my baby in about 3 weeks. It has gotten to a point where I am scared to go over there for fear that he will hurt me or hurt my stomach. There is so much more that I could list. His room is a complete mess, clothes everywhere, random beer cans and miscellaneous items all over the place...i think it is a mild case of hoarding...but he wont clean up, and he still thinks I am going to bring my daughter over there when she's born. Yeah right. Also, when we get in arguements he always talks about how he can find someone else to have sex with, and that his exes are so much better than me because they used to give him money anytime he wanted. I dont' have a job, so I am tryin to save every penny that I have for my unborn child. I know that I need to leave, and I wish I would have done it the very first time he put his hands on me. I just feel guilty because I want him to be in his daughter's life....he doesn't even get to see his other kids but now I know the reason for that. I know that you can't make someone change but I wish I could get help for him. He needs counseling and he needs to stop drinking so much. Like I said my daughter is due in about 3 weeks. I have not been over to his house in awhile. I will go one day and he will act crazy, then I will stay away for 3-4 days....constantly dealing with him talking shi* to me over the phone and accusing me of cheating. Also, he threatens to kill me if I leave him. I know once my daughter is here I will not want to put up with any of his bullshi* anymore, but at the same time I dont want to do this alone. It is also going to be really hard to get a place of my own, while putting my kid in daycare and still paying all of my bills. any advice would help. thank you.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Danelle

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Dec 22, 2010
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Not only are you are great risk and danger being around this obviously disturbed and deadbeat man (and I use the term "man" loosely); you are putting your baby at risk as well. You are about to become a mother, if you haven't already. Your job is to protect your child and keep that child from any kind of harm. Forget keeping this abusive guy in your life; he's too much of a threat. But you need resources to help keep both you and your baby out of harm's way. If you are in the USA, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They have advocates available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis intervention, escape planning, information and referrals to victims or anyone calling on their behalf. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser:

Do what you know you must do, Danelle. Two lives depend on it; and one of those lives is helpless and totally dependent on you. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?

Dec 24, 2010
Don't be fooled by him: Don't fool yourself: You are not in love:
by: maurice

Danelle: I would safely say you know he is not good for you: You are an intelligent woman: You are about to birth your baby if you have not alraedy: Your baby is your life's blood also your inner strength which you get from your instinct's of a mother to care for and protect her baby: Be strong for both of you walk away from that beast of a male: You do not deserve to have your body abused by anyone and certainly not by a known violent control freak: Danelle all I will say is folow the loving, supporting advice and words from Darlene's heart to yours. her comment will empower you but you must take charge of your own life's destiny and that of your baby:

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