Relationship Violence Story From Crystal

by Crystal
(New York, USA)

My boyfriend and me have been dating for a few days. At first it was fun, but now he won't allow me to do anything he does not approve of. I can't talk to other guys. It's like he just doesn't trust me, and when I confront him he denies it all.

A Video Reading by Darlene BarriereNote from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Crystal

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Apr 04, 2009
Break up with him!
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Crystal, this boy is trying to control you. That's not healthy. You need to break up with him, before things get worse, because if he's already showing such signs after only a few days, they WILL get worse. Breaking up with him is much easier when only a few days have gone by. It will be more difficult as time goes by. Talk to your parents about what is happening in this relationship so that they can be a support for you. They are your best line of defense in such situations. Don't for one second be ashamed. Shame prevents dating partners from seeking the help they need when things are going wrong. Don't wait another moment to act. Tell this boy in no uncertain terms that you are breaking up with him, and then stay away from him. Enlist in the support of your friends. Abusive dating partners will try to isolate you from such friends, so don't allow that to happen. And just so you know, extreme jealousy is NOT a sign of love; it's a sign of insecurity. Again, speak with your parents so that they can ensure you stay safe.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Crystal.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach.
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
Talk Before Touching® Series

Apr 05, 2009
Be Fair to yourself/respectyourself/love yourself
by: maurice

Crystal. Your special, your unique, your beautiful, your inteelegent, your loving, there's goodness and greatness in you. That Crystal is You. You be in charge of you. A boyfriend or family or people have no right whatsoever to try and control you because like them you were born to be you and free to choose how you live your life. This boyfriend does not respect that in you so be safe, don't continue with this relationship. There are loving/respectful others out there for you who will treat you as a gifted person in your own right. You had the guts to share with Darlene and her visitors, good on you. Mind how you go.

Sep 03, 2009
Crystal, I feel your pain.
by: Janelle.

Crystal, I feel your pain.
I'm going through the same thing.
Only, I have been with my boyfriend for a year and four months and he has never hit me or never has tried. he doesn't call me names or nothing.
But, his trust towards me is completely out the door.
Even though, he is the one whose cheated on me.
I have no idea what to do.
Whats it even called.

Nov 22, 2009
Not a good sign
by: BMW Princess

If he's trying to control you and you've just started dating that's not a good sign. It might get worse. Control freaks can get abusive. Try to talk to him. If he gets mean leave.

Nov 23, 2009
You be in charge, Love yourself Respect yourself
by: maurice

In any relationship beginning the individual is the most important person in it. She/He must allow the other to grow in their own right. please Crystal please never stay in a relationship that your so call lover friend wants to do as he says. You be in control from the beginning. set down your own ground guidelines where you are coming from and what you want in such a relationship. Be safe, LOVE yourself. Be strong for yourself at all times. Let no one dictate his/her ways is all that matters. It takes two to tango respectfully of each others individuality. Male/Female. Value each others giftedness. Being sexual is only a very tiny part of any relationship. How you talk to each other. How you relate to each other after sex is the greater part of any relationship. So Chrystal respect your own dignity and self esteem then in turn you'll respect your friends dignity and self easteem. It is a two way thing you know. I have heard and wirnessed too many violent and abusive relationships. There is no place for that in any relationship between two human beings.Ok Crystal look in that mirror and say I am the most important person in any relationship from this day on. Be sure, be safe,

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Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.

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