Relationship Violence Story From Anon

by Anon
(United Kingdom)

I was abused as a child by my mum, when my dad left us. I think she blamed me for the fact that she never achieved anything in life and I held her back. Then she got a new boyfriend. And he was nice to me. But she used to love humiliating me in front of him and saying I was ugly like my dad.Not really going to go into a lot of detail. Fast forward 10 years, my mum can't really hit me anymore because I'm taller than her but has slapped me a few times when we have had arguments. I don't think shes ever going to change :(

I've always worked my a** off at school as a result thinking one day I'll make enough money so I can live alone in a safe place where no one can touch me or hurt me!! I now have a partner who is violent. He became violent halfway through our relationship, because he was insecure and thought I cheated on him. He's burnt me, strangled me and punched the life out of me.

I've never told him about my childhood, because I don't want sympathy. I can't figure this guy out as I saw my life with him. like an escape route into happiness. But he's just like the rest.

Sometimes I wonder if they are any non violent nice people in the world. Or if there's something wrong with me that I suffered abuse as a child and as an adult. I know I should walk away but I'm scared of being alone. I was so close to my dad and never got over him leaving us.

Funny thing is I put this fake image on, where I'm always so well dressed (certain bruised parts covered), quite outgoing love hanging out with my friends, and putting all these happy images of me on Facebook.

But I'm really sad:(( I know my post prob doesn't fit in with the rest. But I just had to let it out, as I just got another beating. My head is throbbing and I can feel a big bump growing. And i'm crying coz life can only get better. But why do I always end up in the same rut.

I just want to be safe!!

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Anon

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Oct 26, 2011
To Anon:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There most definitely ARE good people, and wonderful men out there who do not abuse women. Sometimes, when we come from abuse, our ability to create boundaries and see the true nature of people is skewed as a result of a poor self-image. Sometimes, when girls do not have a good role model in their father's or no father at all, or worse, abusive father figures in their lives, they look for love in all the wrong places. When we come from abuse, we often believe the lies we've been told about ourselves. We sometimes make choices for ourselves that aren't the best in hopes of getting out of an abusive situation. But that puts us at risk for getting into another abusive situation. That doesn't make abuse and assault your fault. It's never ever the victim's fault. Fault is always on the shoulders of the abuser/offender, because the abuser/offender chooses to abuse. You're in a dangerous situation, and you don't believe you're worthy of anything better. But you ARE worthy of better. You're worthy of dignity, respect and love. Treat your Self in the way no one has, Anon. Treat your Self with dignity and respect and self-love. Take the next necessary step. Contact Women's Aid at 0808 2000 247. They have professionals available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week who can provide crisis information, escape planning, and referrals to victims of domestic violence. Visit their website by copying and pasting the following URL into your browser:

You don't deserve to be abused and assaulted. You deserve help for the fact that you have been and continue to be. In fact, the assaults will not only continue, they will increase in intensity and escalate, putting you in greater and greater danger. Call the number. Don't wait another day. Don't wait another moment. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Oct 26, 2011
The Horror
by: Anonymous

Anon, I can't believe that your dad would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick monster of a mother and allow her to beat and berate you 24/ dare he! If she didn't want to be there, she should've had the courage to give you up for adoption instead of abusing you. The path that she, along with your dad and even your so-called boyfriend chose is inexcusable. Oh, and she's wrong. You're not ugly; you are beautiful, so never believe any of those lies that she was spewing. Oh, and as for your abusive so-called boyfriend, GET AWAY FROM HIM ASAP because real men do not abuse women! That man is dangerous and needs to be put away because you did nothing wrong. You are not to blame; your mom and your "boyfriend" are to blame because they chose to abuse you. I really hope that you leave him and that you look into reporting him.

Oct 27, 2011
there are non-voilent people out here
by: Anonymous

Anon , I can relate to the way you feel about not wanting to be alone . Amazing and as hard to believe as it is there are lots of people out here that do not believe in violence . Leave him , before he gets to the next level of the abuse stage . Wishing you all the best and I do pray that you do find the courage to leave him . M. B

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