Relationship Violence Story From Andy

by Andy
(Perth, Australia)

I'm 22 and this happened to me when i was 20 i hope people read my story and dont stick with someone if they ever hit you im still paying for it, when me and my partner first started dating it was a big thing we had known each other since we were 13 and before we started dating a was addicted to weed i was really bad so it was hard but i quit and then me and my partner started going out we had been together for 5 months at the time when it first began one night i picked him up and he was really drunk and i was mad at him about that cos i dont drink i dont like being around someone whos drunk and annoying, well he came back to my house then he started by yelling at me for nothing just calling me a whore and mean things like that well then he stated choking me and then would stop say sorry then do it again. so it got to a point he said im killing myself and he grabbed a knife and went outside and tried slitting his throat while he was doing that i went and asked my mum to drive him home cos he was acting crazy, she went outside to tell him then he came ranning in and chased me to my room and jumped on top on me and started choking me then my mum pulled him off me then he starting pushing her and smashing my house up all my doors, walls my bedroom was destroyed. well my mum called his dad and brother to come control him and get him out then he went crazy and the police had to be called he kept saying how me and my mum were dead ect.. then the police came and he got taken away but got tazered 3 times and he was stil going crazy when the police had him in the paddy wadden he was kicking around screaming it was nothing i had seen before. well he got locked up for the night then stupid me forgave him cos it was out of charcter for him. well it has been the worst mistake im so hard on myself cos hes destroying my life. well he was banned from my house so i had to start staying there every night and about 3 months after is when he started. it started with him punching me that hard in my arms and legs and i mean hard where the bruizing was that bad i have never been hit so hard he went full force with his hits and he didnt care if his dad saw, brothers, he just didnt care he figured he owned me. well that went on for about 2 months before my mum started noticing i was changing i was angry all the time i was mean to everyone but my partner it was hard to cos im a beauty therapist and im in the middle of studying and on our practical days we need to wear a robe so everyone was noticing all the the bad bruzing all over my arms and legs i was embarrssed ashamed. well after the hiting of the arms and legs came the next step which was he started ripping my hair out of my head and headbuting me and pushing my head into the wall and this one night ill never forget his dad grabed his pillow and blacket and went and slept in the car so he didnt have to hear it. all i could remember thinking was i wish i was dead and how much i wanted my mum. and i didnt have my licence at the time so i couldnt just leave i had to wait until 10am the next day. well after that night i wouldnt stay there and about a month went passed and he stoped drinking harrassed me every minuite of everyday until i gave in. so i started staying there again. oh and theres also one thing you should know one reason i think i kept going back is because i dont have many freinds i have freinds but none that im close with and my partner made me stop talking and seeing my freinds so i lost alot of people so i was feeling alone and like i had no one i had to hold it in cos i didnt want to hurt my mum shes so good to me and all this has really hurt her well anyway then 2-5 weeks went passed and this one night i stayed there. it was the worst i still have nightmares. well it was a saturday night last winter! i just got there and i pulled up ( my mum was droping me off) and i told her to wait just in case he wasnt there well his dad answerd and said he wasnt home so i got in the car and left and i rang him while i was on my way home and we were fighting and at the end of it i said fine and asked my mum to turn around. well we got there and i shoulda realised he was acting funny. and my mum drove off and he started looping called her all these names and cos i was so sceraed i just sat there well we got back into his room and he started ripping his hair out yellung at me saying im ungrateful and he always thinks im cheating on him instead of going to school. well he pushed my head into a metal car thing that was in his room at the time and this thing was hard so that it hurt i started crying and because i cryed his dad knocked on the door and then my partner startefd going crazy and grab me by my hair and started punching me in the face then he after throwing me around for a lil while. he said he would be right back in that i better not move he was going up the road. well he left i ran out side to qickly ask his brother to call my mum or brother to come get me well he told me no! which i still cant belive but he did that and before i could make it back into his room i heard the front door slam and he noticed i wasnt there and i was in the lanurday thats just before his bedroom and he headbutted me and told me to go into his room and i wouldnt i was to sceared cos i knew what was going to happen so i tried to run into the bathroom to lock the door and i didnt make it before i could lock it he kicked it open well i fell to the ground behind the door at that point and he slamed that door and then all i remember is his boot coming into my face and head continuesly i tried to use my hand to protect myself but he broke my hand thats how hard he was booting my face i thought i was going to die then he was punching me in the face and head my nose was bleeding my mouth was split open i had a huge chuck of a tooth missing, mouth was split open my ear was riped and bleeding bad, well then he pulled me by my hair into his room and then at that point i was trying to say anything to save myself and he had me on the floor and kept kicking me in the gut and spiting on me and also still punching me in the head,then he stoped after i fgured the last chance i have is say i love u and suck up so i did and he chilled a little then i went into the bathroom to wash my face then he came running in and grabed my head and pushed it into the wall and then i fell to the ground and then he grabed my head and pushed it as hard as he could into the sink and i got knocked out and then i woke up to him chocking me. then he calmed down so then i sucked up and it worked it made me sick but i just wanted to die i needed the hospital and knew he wasnt gona help i pretend to be alsleep and i prettended until i heard my mum beep the next day. i hope onae day i meet someone nice and i hope girls dont forgive. we are over now but he stalks me,thretens me, trashs my house, he wont let me go i cant go anywhere by my self its terrible ill never be the same.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Andy

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Mar 21, 2011
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You say he's still threatening you and trashing your house...for goodness sake, report him to the authorities, and keep reporting him until something is done. He's not only bad news, he's extremely dangerous; he's already proven that. And so is his family! They condone violence against women. That's probably where he learned it. But you are still in danger, so reach out in your community for resources that are available to you. The Women's Domestic Violence Helpline in Western Australia is: 9223 1188 or 1800 007 339

And Andy, don't EVER believe that his behaviour is "out of character"...he is sadistically violent. I won't speculate about why, because what's most important here is your safety. Lean on your family for support (though I am asking what was your mother thinking when she dropped you off at his house, knowing full well how violent he was). And nurture your friendships. Your family and friends are your first line of defense, they are your support system. But first and foremost, do what you must in order to stay safe. Call the DV Helpline. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?

Mar 22, 2011
Men beating or abusing women I abhor
by: maurice

An Animal living with Animals: A brute, A beast, a sadistic maniac: Not human: Andy, get out of there, out of that relationship even if one could call it that: You are nobody's fool, you know and you mother/family know how abnormal this beast is: Men beating abusing women I certainly abhor: They are not men, they have given into their animalistic insticts and forgotten they are human: Andy: My question is How could his Father, his brother sit ever so idly by and know what that animal was doing to you just a wall or room away: GET MILES AWAY FROM HIM and his co-abusers of you and more so other women: He won't change, they won't protect you from him so get out of there: Never go back: You are a highly intelliegent young woman: you have your dignity as such: you deserve to be loved and cherished not beaten to pulp by any man or indeed woman: This man is mental, out of his mind after almost using his boot to deface you, break your bones in your gentle, tender body: Your body is beautiful: get out of ther and bring it back to that beauty by your gentle care of it: Darlene has given you encourageing words to begin with: Your Family and friends are your safeguarding and builder of your own self worth and esteem: Your Mother needs to be mother to you: How she could leave you back to that house after she knew you were fighting on the phone: He is a freak, nut case, controller of you: That is not human, not right, not love, not relationship, I don't deserve to be treated like his punch bag or kick boxing target; Get ou of there Andy: Surround yourself with human beings (normal) who'll value and respect you for who you truly are: great, gifted, tallented, I'M SPECIAL and I LOVE ME; Let your motto be after you make beautiful that body of yours: I CAN: I WILL: I MUST: Because I am WORTH it. Andy, now might not be the time to ask you, but I will anyways, Will you begin to have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Oh know how could he might be your re-action: I believe you life will open out and blossom if you do: mix with like-mided people your own age and gender and take part in sporting and cultural activities: widen your horizons and live your dreams, make the difference.

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