Relationship Violence Story From Amy

by Amy
(Wisconsin, USA)

When i first met my ex boyfriend J---, I thought everything was great. He did everything to make me happy and make me feel great about myself. It was like a fairy tale. But little did I know it would have a horrible twist. Throughout this relationship many horrible things happend that really should have made me leave him. But i didnt he was my first love. It all started on July 24th, I met J--- through my best friend and everything was amazing. We were together for about a month and one day i got a text message from a girl who was supposly one of J---'s best friends. Saying "ask J--- what he said to me two days ago" so of course i asked him. and he denied that he said anything untill later when he pulled me aside and told me what happend, he told me that she came and picked him up and he told her that he was only dating me to get over her and that he tryed to kiss her but she wouldnt let him. He told me he didnt mean any of it. Hours later he told me that he really did mean what he said to that girl and that he was really sorry and he begged for me not to leave him. He even started to cry a little bit. So i didnt leave him. Things were amazing after that untill my birthday weekend he was really upset about something. He ended up telling me he was doing cocaine behind my back and drinking everyday. So i decided to break up with him. But that didnt last long because he called me over to his house to talk about it. And once again he begged for me back and told me he would never do it again. Now your probaly thinking wow your really dumb. But see i loved this kid with my whole heart. i did everything to make him happy. Same thing that happend in the first time, he was simply amazing. Untill we broke up. But see we were broken up. But we were still together. But i noticed a big change in him. He told me we would get back together when we fixed our relationship. One day he told me he didnt think we should see each other anymore and he liked someone else. I was crushed so i went to the guidance office in school and told them i was calling my mom. But really called him and he told me about three months ago he made out with my best friend. I was crushed. And somehow we ended up getting back together. Remember we werent boyfriend and girlfriend but we were still together. Things only got worse from there. He became abusive. Emotionally and physically. He would just sit there and insult me all day long. And he was so unbelieveable controlling. i wasnt allowed to talk to ANY boys. i wasnt allowed to wear make up or hang out with any of my friends. And then i made the mistake of cheating on him. Now you have to understand i was not happy. and i REALLY wanted to be. But the gult was to much. So i told him and he was not happy at all. He slapped me across the face. Then i noticed i would barely see him. i would go months without being able to see him. But we would still talk all day everyday. Then he started to disappear for days. I wouldnt hear from him up to four days. And once i did get ahold of him he didnt tell me where he was or what he was doing and expected me to just be like okay. Then he started taking my medicine. People know this medicine as addys. He would take them and sell them and make up to 200 hundred dollars. And at the time i didnt mind to much. AS long as he was still mine. And then the cheating started. I would hear rumors of him trying to get with other girls... younger girls. all the time. Then girls would come up to me and be like are you still dating him? And id be like yeah. And months went by with him treating me SO horrible and him not caring about how i felt or how he was hurting me. And then on our nine months my mom found out that he was taking my medicine. And so i told him i wasnt going to be able to get them anymore. and he said "well then i dont need you anymore." And that was that. The relationship was over. And i was completly crushed. It took me months to get over the pain. And now i can say i am much happier.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Relationship Violence Story From Amy

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Aug 10, 2011
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

J--- did you a huge favour breaking up with you for good. He showed you his true colours and purpose. He used you and abused you. He is seriously bad news. The fact that he is now out of your life is such a good thing. So many other victims of relationship violence cannot get out of the relationship without deep fear of harm. You don't have that worry. The violence would have escalated and intensified had the relationship continued. Again, you don't have the worry. And don't be too quick to assume that I or anyone who visits this site thinks you're "dumb". Misguided, yes, but certainly not dumb. Focus on your self-esteem, Amy. Focus on YOU and your needs; and then fulfill them for your Self. A healthy relationship starts with a healthy self-esteem. You are worthy of dignity and respect. Always. And keep in mind that the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one you have with your Self. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Does Your Relationship make the Grade? by: Darlene Barriere
Darlene Barriere
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From the Talk Before Touching™ Series
Does Your Relationship Make the Grade?

Aug 11, 2011
I am a winner in my own right: I'm the best:
by: maurice

Amy: Read Darlene's comment then you'll put a value on what I just said about you: I am the winner in my own RIGHT: From Today you can begin to be AMAZING: The architect of my own destiny: BEAUTIFUL: I am beautiful both inside and out: DYNAMIC: Ever changeing and growing now that this eslfish abusive so called friend is gone from my life: Become ENTHUASTIC: About living and loving life: Amy: you surround yourself with real friends your own age and gender: (most important) always good to have a girlie friends to share all the intimate stuff with and make sense of it for each other: Have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Yes, Amy get out and about being active and alive taking part with friends, like-minded people taking part in TEAM sport and sporting and cultural activities: I guarantee within a short time you will be a new person: You'll make natural and true friends for life and have loads to make you happty and smile when you cross path's: Value, love and apprecieate your body beautiul and respect it being so: Be safe: Stay Safe: Look in the mirror the larger the better because then you can see the complete me saying hi back to you; Then think positive thoughts about the wonderful and beautiful me looking at you: I WILL: I CAN: I MUST: BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT: That you are AMY: ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: My motto: I will: I can etc AMY

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